Got a call from d29 last night/this morning at 12:30 AM. W had eft her house around 11:30, d29 had a few and was talking with MIL who is at her house. Conversation from her was not good. She apologized for waking me up and then went on to say her mother is disgusting, she looks like a booze bag, her hair is like straw, she didn't color her white roots, because she doesn't have the money, she looks old and worn, and my d29 says she doesn't want anyone to know she came from her. I don't even think of her as my mother anymore. She said the W sat there completely in a fog, had a few drinks, seemed nervous, and looked absolutely awful. She told me she doesn't like this whole thing one bit and she has had it. I calemd her down and told her not to be that way, that she is dealign with things and some people deal with them different ways. thats when she ttacked her morality and sobriety. She told me, Know wonder she drinks all the time, shes happy whne she is getting rocked, and miserabel when she is sober and has to deal wtih things. And this OM, what the F$%^&! I told her to calm down, things wil change and start to get better. She told me how much she loved me and really is proud of me and how I am handling things. She says she is very proud to be my daughter, And that all of this crap that my W is putting me through isn't fair to me.
MIL got on the phone and basically repeated everything D29 said/. Her own mother!!!
I calmed her as well. No bad thoughts about anything other than bills last night. Didn't sleep good. Just mind going crazy, I prayed last night Amy, not for anything but for her to find her way. She seems more lost now. My son refuses to talk to her at all. W found out my DIL was pregnant from D17. D17 didn't no it was a secret. W brought it up last night and said to D29 and MIL "That's nice, DIL is pregnant and my own son can't call me, bet his father was the first one to know." D29 responded with , "When was the last time you called your son? When was the last time you went to visit him and you didn't ask him for money?" "Yeah, Dad was the first to know. We all tell Dad everything first, except D17, you got that worked out." I guess W sat there with her motuh open and no response. MIL added, "they go to LD, becasue he has been there for them, even going thru this, they have been able to rely on him for anything. I hear he takes the boys overnight, takes them to the camp, goes to chuck e cheese, goes over their houses to hang out and have a good time, invites them to his house. When do you do that?" Her response was "Well they should cal me if they need things, how am i suppoed to know?" My d29 got up and made herself a stronger drink. she wanted to really get itno it but decided to wait for her to leave and call her daddy to get calmed down.
MIL says W looks worse than ever. I did feel good after W called the house and talked with me last night. Again, it was useless stuff, but it felt good that she wanted to talk to me, not just have me hand the phone over to D17. She kinda rushed her conversation so I wouldn'yt just leave ...
She does sound more at ease with me. I don't know. I still feel different. Even with everything else. No emotion, not upset, no second guessing, no hopes, no expectations and no signs. Walk is good, starting to slightly go uphill and to the left, not that its important. finally seeing trees!!!
