I agree with Jack. The double benefit of getting the focus on you and off of her is that it takes the pressure off of her, and she therefore doesn't feel the need to rub your nose in her unhappiness.

The one exception to this is living together, during which I sometimes think just the mere presence of you there can sometimes cause them to spew.

But for the most part, if you take care of yourself, you not only feel better for having taken care of yourself, but you've given her no reason to go off on you either.

Win-win.

Not many of those in these situations.

What you've been doing is something like trying to fix the roof on your house DURING a hurricane.


Let the storms die down.

Time for fixing later.


Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."