I think all of the changes you have made are amazing. I see a lot of myself in your posts, so I know how hard those changes are to make. I am working on making them myself, but am not quite as good as you are just yet. I have/had anxiety issues for years and was also on AD's for a while. I went off just before H bombed me and have stayed off.
I hope for you that you all get to piecing, but it is good that you have no expectations currently.
You mentioned the connection you feel with your BF. I have that with my H. When he lets his walls down, it is like kinetic energy and I know he feels it too. Freaks him out I think and then the walls go back up. Oh, and I still am not privy to his address either, just a general vicinity. So, strange. Lots of people keep telling me it is probably b/c there is OW. Even if so, that's not why. It has been nearly six months, I think I have more than shown I will not be searching for him.
Obviously, I cannot be 100% certain there is not OW, but in my gut it feels more about his need to hide from me and others emotionally. I am the only person from pre-bomb (in this country anyway) that he'll see. It remains among the strangest of his new behaviors.
I, too, like all of your astrological postings and information. I find it so interesting. I copied something from your last post on the subject. My H is a very typical Taurus and there was something in your post that gave me hope, so I saved it.
