Because that would be making a definitive decision.
She's not living in the land of definitive decisions right now, despite how she might speak to you.
She's living in the land of "what have you done for me lately, life?"
Maybe she'll want to come back at some point. Maybe she'll lose her new place, the new people in her life. Maybe she'll find out that she's not quite done with you.
In her current state, divorce is a threat to push you away.
I think I can count on one hand the number of stories I've read here where it was threatened and actually acted on in anything resembling a timely fashion.
If you continue to seek ANY kind of reassurance from her to use as the strength to get through another day, you will drop like a rock quickly.
She's not in the business of reassuring you. She's not concerned even one iota for your current state. Remember: YOU are the problem. YOU are what she needs to get away from.
We just can't seem to make you understand that this part of the process is one that you have to find a way to survive. You are NOT in the stage where you are going to see positive, heartwarming results from efforts on your part. Your job right now is to care and nurture YOURSELF, and get to work on making things better INSIDE YOU.
You should be trying to tread water, but in a positive way. Try to keep yourself from drowning in the drama and sense of loss. Weathering these storms, keeping yourself strong, learning how to become a strong, confident man again...these are the things that prepare you, protect you, and make it possible for you to win the endgame, if it ever gets to that.
We are not insane. We are not treating every situation the same, without regards to you as a person. There are MANY similarities in these situations, and the dangers are fairly universal. We are trying to get you focused and strong enough that you can ultimately win this battle, if it turns out to be a win-able one.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
