As for ML, many of us face this issue. A spouse has walked away (WAS) and the spouse left behind doesn't want to have their boundaries crossed and that makes sense. Plus, the idea that WASs are getting to eat their cake and eat it too, and or the respect issue, etc.
OTOH, there is the fact that for whatever reason, intimacy was an issue in your M and you own at least part of it. So how do you show him that the M would be different, if you don't "show it"?That's the dilemma. Plus you want to contrast the negative images he is using to justify his actions, with positive images that you create for him BEFORE HE LEAVES. Don't fuel his marital revisions.
Can you do this thing for the next 5 weeks? Be as loving and as physically expressive and do as many 180's as possible for that amount of time? Stall the divorce ('what's the rush?") and do the 180's to counter the negatives he is trying to come up with, with your new approach. Then continue this behavior in written form, the positives and the GAL issues where you present yourself as interesting and busy (not too busy for him of course) and essentially you become "a woman only a fool would leave." Show him his data isn't real.
Very few men go back to women b/c of the great sex they never had. So, you need to show your h that you are letting go of the past, whatever that means, and are not going to be angry at him forever. I KNOW you are "Right to be mad" I get that. But ask yourself, do you want to be right, or happy? Has the anger at your h gotten you anywhere?
