Ali - I've been reading you on and off for a year and it seems there is a repeated theme in your postings/thinkings around your need to 'connect' with him. You often talk about what opporunities you have to contact him - if and when he contacts you - how you'd like to have the "good-bye" talk with him etc etc.

I know that with your concious brain you think those are rational feelings - and I do know (from long hard personal experience)the desire just to talk to them. God knows I've drunk and dialled enough times to be an authority on that feeling.

But girlfriend the KEY to DBing is to accept that this has to be on his timing. This isn't about you. It's all about him. When you call him, send him a present, write him an e-mail he will perceive that as pursuit. When he hears from your mutual friends that you've been asking about him - he will perceive that as pursuit. You HAVE to give this man a chance to miss you. Even the energy you put into thinking about him is subconciously (or energetically) known by him. You have to LET GO of him - and you need to do that to give him any chance of knowing what life will really be like without you. You also have to do it for your mental health and your capacity to recommence your life.

Right now, he knows that you will look after him. You'll look after his investments, you'll keep thinking about him, you'll be there if he gets sick of his girlfriend - you are his backstop. You deserve better than that. You are no man's fall back - nor are you his mother.

Ali - you are obviously an intelligent, interesting person - why are you letting your emotions for this man hold your mind hostage?

I know it takes a long time. I reckon it took me 3 years to get over my marriage breaking down - but it only happens when you detach, GAL, have a PMA and focus on yourself.

Good luck.

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.