Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[25yearsmlc]

Amy,

do you recall the "good old days" when we nominated some WAS events as the 'Wackiest MLCers'? I'm thinking DD's W's outburst qualifies as a really wacky experience, with the whole visual of getting chased and falling down stairs and being trapped by alien spewing waw was really..."an experience". Can't believe DD isn't injured. DD, you are actually lucky in that regard.

So, DD, I think your w has officially visited the other planet and tried to abduct you as well. Fortunately you survived. But dang...sorry you had to go through it.
(( j ))

[AmyC]

LOL - I do remember reading some of those, 25!
I tried to stay away lest any sound too familiar, though.
Some LBSs should have gotten a Purple Heart!

[dday101798]

Thanks all,

To clarify, she DIDN'T get hauled away, when everything was said and done I told the PD I just want her out of the house and didn't press charges. The next morning I went to the police station to assertain what to do about keeping her out of the house in light of the situation, they said either press charges and have her arrested still or go to the Circuit Court and do the Order of Protection (OOP), which the later is what I opted to do.

This is still interpreted by FIL as a 'hostile move'. Well, he hasn't seen nothing yet as my mail service seems to have abruptly stopped in the last week, so I put a call in to the postal service and if in fact she is interfiering with MY mail, well, that's a federal offense especially with W2's floating in the mail. AND, if the forward order was put in after the 15th, that violates the provision of "Respondaent is pohibited from committing the following: Intererence with personal liberty" and then she's really in for the long haul in that respect.

Furthermore, she was hostile to me on the phone prior to burting into the house and committing the attack, so the 'sight on seen and lost it' need not apply, she's just done lost touch with reality.

As I said prior, this seems to be the way the bulk of her relations end, but this time she's messed with the wrong person.

My concern now is my children, whole heartedly. I am doing the best to monitor what I say if anything about the situation. As to why they can't see her, I merely said, if someone stole from you would you tell someone? If someone hurt you would you tell someone? Yes, and why, because you know it's wrong and that person must be held responsible for their actions against you. It was NEVER my intent to keep you from seeing mom, but the people I had to tell saw it differently or made a mistake in the paperwork and it will all be staightened out soon, I'm sorry.

As for living conditions, heh, I've had it, FIL can after renter on his own for the portion of the full rent owed owed and I will pay my part as I PAY all the utilities and they are now past due and the electric is already scheduled for shut off, but I odn't know when since I'm not getting my mail.

If he wants to 'boot' me and my kids, that's pretty damn low, or perhaps he's up to something else custodywise, I just know. I just don't understand how someone is so adement on getting money one day, then there's no contact for the next 2? WTF?

[25yearsmlc]

LD,
But you can't worry about fil just like you can't worry about w...you need a dang place to live which is apparently not going to be with fil...

So, okay. You find a place for yourself and the boys and live there. Get your finances in order. Be the rock for your boys. That's quite enough for now, don't you think? Besides, being the rock for your boys is contagious. W will see it and crave it. Too late? Who knows? She has crossed some seriously large lines and gone wayyy over them. My instincts say she really needs help. Does she drink or use drugs? Did you guys do so in the past? I mean that behavior is just so crazy that the fact that fil doesn't see that, means he may be used to it, or maybe was like that himself in the past...geez... hmmm, my crystal ball is not showing good things right now. She needs help. You can't get it for her. Just keep the boys safe, and yourself. (sigh)
j-

[dday101798]

Ehh LD??? But got it.

As said, I've decided renter and FIL can hash it out over renters protion of the full payment, I will only pay my part and utilities in my name as that's my credit line. I'd love to just up and leave, but with no money, furniture or car, that's not a good otpion at the current moment, if about 2 grand landed in lap some how, Ohhhh I'd be gone, believe me.

Yes she drinks, heavily, and we seperated mostly becasue of her drug use. She claims to have stopped when we were talking right after New Years, but I don't trust a lick of anything she says. And as stated, my kids say the kitchen and furniture in her room is always littered with beer cans. Then I heard and from people and she has said how she has to switch back and forth from beer to wine because too much beer upsets her "ulcer". Gee, honey what do you have an ulcer from?

Anyway, BAD night with S10, didn't bring home any of his assigned work, complete attitude and wanted to argue all night about situation between W and I and blame his school problems on me and that I'm the one keeping him from seeing his mother. He needs counseling, no doubt.

Funny thing, when picking up S11 from school, there was a lot of police activity on W's block, wonder if she didn't get all the fight out of her system and took it out on OM as I heard she did the night she 'attacked' me.

Great night with S11. When I picked him up, his teacher was excited to see me, and commented on how much better he's doing in participation and the fact that someone finally looked at his homework book (W always claimed "he doesn't get homework" so I never bothered to look). I had said yeah, doesn't he have a spelling test tommorow and she was shocked and said yes and we went over the criteria. BTW he is a 'special needs' child so the rules are different and I never really understood and let W handle it, so this is a HUGE thing for me to learn. He did great on his practice and I even adopted my own form to which he responded immediately and aced.

So,6 of 1, half dozen of the other for the night I guess. S10 apologized this morning for his behavior, of course followed by "may I go to so and so's birthday party tomorrow?" of which I had to be firm and say no, not unless you find some way to make up for the work you didn't bring home last night. His teacher wants to put him in a after school homeowrk program and I can't get transportation for him home so he needs to do his work!

The part that gets me the most is he did so well on Wed. that despite not having the money, I took them out to dinner when I said I couldn't at the beginning of the week, then the next day I get grilled and blamed for W's actions and the consequences the arise from them.

Ugghhh!

[dday101798]

oh, oddly enough, had a dream last night and W was in it, something about a 'new' house, but it was strange, kind of a foreshadow of the aftermath, who knows.

[LonelyD]

Keep you rspirits up. My D17 was sort of pushing away from me and since the meeting with the school and stuff, now I am on her "I'll be happy around him" group. She is talking to me more because she has overheard me saying things like I needed to do this for her, she is an A student and doesn't want to quit school but everything is getting to her. I need to remove some of this stress, this isn't fair top her, she did nothng to deserve it, I got do something.

She thanked me today after I gave her $20. I told her make it last, she said, "No, I 'm thnaking you for what you did for me, ou listened to me. And I want you to know that it meant a lot to me that you listened and helped me do what I needed to do." I told her no problem, thats my job, You're my peanut, I am here to make sure you don't ever have the worries I have...Gave her a kiss and told her to call me later. She is much more relaxed now.

It is hard for the kids, Amy and 25year have given me advice about it. Let them roll, let them vent, but never let on that it is getting to you. don't let them see the "buttons".

[dday101798]

Meh, my spirits oddly are up, despite everything falling down around me, I'm developing quite a hard shell. I could really care less if FIL gets pissed off or anything. 'Renter' went to hand me money in the middle of dealing with S10, looked like only $200, sorry buddy, you're in the hole for $800, one full month, so I just said "keep it, we'll deal with it later". Everybody seems to have some sort of agenda going on and it's all secretive, but I don't care.

Only thing that's pissing me off right now is the post office not calling back on why my mail stopped. I KNOW why it stopped, but I need the official confirmation, and my only other option is to walk up in zero degree weather tomorrow? I don't think so. Bad enough I have to take S10 to the library for a new card since he "lost" his. Hell, even if have to carry it all back tonight walking, I am getting all my groceries for the weekend TONIGHT while it's still dropping.

I'm also a little peaved by FIL needing this cash so desperately that I drained my account out on Tuesday and now can't even call in my electric payment on my card.

I don't know if it's a positive thing or not, but I just don't care anymore. All I care about is I now have my boys and it's like having a family again, sort of, but compared to the way family had been over the last few years, I'm sort of glad it's w/out her. Edit - and by that I mean they have stucture, something they've been lacking highly since W left and was OM immediately and gave them no attention when they were there

It's going to be a real kick in the pants for her when she comes to find out, they've been clean, fed, clothed and assisted with education, especially S11, all the while the house is clean and without her.

I know I can still fall back on my cousins offer to stay with her and we can sort something out for the boys, all I'd need to worry about is reliable wheels. So, I think I'm going to keep that card in my pocket for when all else fails.

I will say, it has been real nice having a solid week of not hearing anything about her and NO conversations about her, well from 'outside sources' anyway. Now THAT'S detachment.

[dday101798]

OH!

And I finally started journalizing everything, I kick myself in the rear for not keeping up with over all this time.

It's nice to look back in it and reflect on the little things you did during the week that didn't seem like much at the time, but in retrospect......

Well, adios, off for the weekend and a nice cold one, and I'll stay warm inside with some cold ones.

[25yearsmlc]

DD,

sorry for the LD naming, but you guys are kind of close to each other in my posts. ANYHOW, hey, a recurring problem for you is money. What can you do to improve that? More schooling? Training? Different job somewhere new? I mean you have to get that to improve as an issue totally separate from your w and her craziness.

Just wondered if that could be part of your GAL? Having the money to live somewhere, pay utilities and having a reliable car, are basics you need. What can you do to make sure these basics are covered? (No, you cannot say "get an OW with money"...sheesh!)

Maybe making some more bucks can be a focus of yours when you are thinking of things to do to move forward. It'll lessen the stress in your life and it IS best for the boys. Also will help you with custody and the more custody you have, the less you'll pay her. And the easier your life will be...

So, good luck,
j-