Yes I did get the link Kerryk posted. I have the 'NUTS' book. I have all the 'how to' books.
WHat I don't have are local friends who aren't needy in some way. What I don't have is anyone who will support me while my house is in foreclosure, The IRS is hammering me, and I have to pay all the bills to keep my kids in their home. LIke to the tune of $5000 or more per months.
Nobody gives a shiiit about my life, my pressures. My burdens.
The other day my STBX called to tell me that her VISA card had changed their rates, changed the interest and lowered the credit limit. They expected her to pay $1,000 this month. Her response was that she would have to file for bankruptcy.
Well, she can't do that because we are still legally married.
So, what choice did I have? I had to pay it for her even though it screwed with my financials.
She asked me 'why would you do that?' I said because whatever happens to you happens to me. You get that? She gets to run away but I'm still stuck with the consequences of OUR actions together.
So Hey Amy, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we have no choice. none. And we are forced to 'do the right thing' even if it hurts.
And we're still alone. Still having to do what has to be done.
I'm not the only LBS who found themselves in these situation. Your husband (LBS) is lucky that he has you , who never asks for help and is capable of managing on her own. BUt that is rare.
Yeah, I suck. I hurt, I escape.
And every morning I feel like shiit because of it.
And my kids want their mom back.
And none of this will happen. None of it.
See, we aren't the WAS who is looking for forgiveness. We're the LBS who won't be forgiven but are stuck with the pain and responsibility of our children. Of our WAS, of everything that went wrong. Because as MEN we are the only ones who can fix it. Not to restore our marriage, but because we have no choice. We MUST survive.
Perhaps this might be insightful, it may make you look at your husband and his life and see how HE has struggled to keep his house, and his sanity during these difficult times.
