in a galaxy far, far away...

[Silent Chrleader]

[[[[[[BM]]]]]]

But I know what I have to do. I just pray I have the guts to do it.

So, are you going to follow the coaches advice? I said much the same a couple days ago.....

......If you could really let go and GAL for you and your son, and just leave H sitting there, like nothing but another piece of furniture in your house, then I would say to leave the decision to stay or go in his lap and don't react either positively or negatively no matter what he does!

However, it appears that you may have reached a point where you may not be able to do that (and believe me, there is no shame in saying "enough is enough"!! I could never have made it as long as you have!!!).

Only you can make that choice, BM. In my opinion, it is impossible for you at this point to make a wrong choice! As I have said, from my own experience, seperation was a good growth thing for me, and I don't think I could ever have reached the point I am now in letting go if we were still living together.

You know I support you whatever you choose!!

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

The bottom line is only you can look in your heart and know what you can comfortably do and what you can't. You are NOT a wuss!!!! What you are is a faithful, warm, caring woman who loves her H and doesn't want to be sorry for her choices down the road!

There is no single right answer. If your H keeps dragging his feet and you can really let go and be happy while ignoring your H's comings and goings, that would obviously be the best because he would see the changes in you more easily. On the other hand, if you are not able to distance yourself emotionally while having such constant exposure to him, then there is no shame in that!

In fact, if you can't drop the rope the way the coach advised while your H is still coming and going without notice, then it may be better if you seperate, so you can be more in control of when you see him, and have the time to prepare yourself and put your best foot forward on those occaisions.

I am by no means an expert, like the coach, and her advice is good advice......but don't take it like "this is what you have to do" or you're a wuss! I don't believe that is the truth.

Be kind to yourself, my friend! You deserve it!!!!