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We know you're in pain, FIB, we know. We're just saying that you can make it worse...and we're reminding you that it will pass, and we just know you will be alright down the road.

What do you tell a patient about to have a painful treatment, designed to cure an underlying, and ultimately more painful, condition? That it sucks? It does. But if they lament the surgery too much, do you remind them of the alternative, which isn't being healthy, but having the underlying condition? That's your only option right now. Getting through the treatment.

And you will. And we're all rooting for you. But yeah, it hurts. I really hear you.
((( j )))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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FIB, this is hard stuff. Really hard. And when it involves our children, it's downright wrenching. Unfortunately, the only way to deal with it is through it.

Live by your rules. Strength, honor, and dignity. And I promise you, you will always be your children's hero. No one can take your place, ever. You are their daddy.

Thinking of you, my friend.

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Thanks. Although my posts are 'in pain' my real life is not..per se. I still have all the difficult financial issues that everyone else has when they go thru this, but, my pain is inner....and for my kids now. I am fully ready to split from my STBXW. She is angry...cold...unable to move on...vindictive....sulking...punitive...uncooperative...incommunicative...

Uh..need I go on? lolol

The behavior is immature. Outside of the paperwork, I have done NOTHING to make her life miserable on a daily basis. I cook, do her laundry, buy groceries and include things she likes. I talk to her, text her...etc.

I get nothing. I expect nothing. Most women, IMO, on this board, by now would be 'functional' within the bounds of a marriage that would be about to end.

I am ready to split. I am preparing mentally to accept that I will have to give up my home. I have NOT YET coped with the fact that I will not see my kids everynight. HOWEVER, I do NOT fight it when I get home and there are no notes where they are. I accept that have time with mom.....I look at it now as 'not my night'...and I do things for me or get work done and relax in the quiet.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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Spitty..thanks for following along. Knowing you're in the wings helps.

Preparing a new thread if this one closes.
Stage 5, Acceptance II
FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,035
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Observation only: I'm completely ignored and cold-shouldered.
FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Jul 2006
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PS....now have frank-d's W and others here behavior...texting in front of me, etc

Obs only.
FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,841
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Quote:
Observation only: I'm completely ignored and cold-shouldered.

So?
Quote:
PS....now have frank-d's W and others here behavior...texting in front of me, etc. Obs only.

So?


Stop observing and start living. Stop dwelling on the negative. Stop what is happening to others.

You are better than that. AND they are too !!!

Strength and Honor.


Jeff

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Originally Posted By: Jeff223
Quote:
Observation only: I'm completely ignored and cold-shouldered.

So?
Quote:
PS....now have frank-d's W and others here behavior...texting in front of me, etc. Obs only.

So?


Stop observing and start living. Stop dwelling on the negative. Stop what is happening to others.

You are better than that. AND they are too !!!

Strength and Honor.


Ummmm, I am trying to figure out how this is much different then before. Not for nothing FIB, but being ignored may not be such a bad thing... know what I mean? So, not to start trouble or anything, but maybe you could post a bit about what else you are doing for YOU in preparation for the ending FIB? I for one am curious about the physical steps you are taking to make the transition smoother when the time comes?

I am not trying to impose, just curious.....


Ian

Last edited by sofaraway; 01/24/09 02:49 AM.

M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Ian...I have an angry, immature wife that looks to start trouble. Details to follow. I am NOT going to be walked all over anymore. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,309
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FIB,

How long do you have to stay in this living arrangement with your W? Sorry, but I can't remember what your time line for actual "physical" separation might be. Is this completely open ended or is there light at the end of the tunnel?

And BTW...when you are in the midst of being disrespected it's hard to remember that a lot of other people respect you greatly. \:\) Try to hold on to that.

Spitty


Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
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