I completely agree about D4. She is totally what makes my life worthwhile. i love my son. but this girl...is everything in the world that I ever wished for.
I ended up not responding to that email at all. So of course he emails again.
"Hey, I tried to call. I am not stalkin’ ya I swear!!! My W2 is in. If you would like we can compile our stuff. Robs Mom is going to help me out. I would like to send it all to her to take care of it. Will that work for you?"
All I email back is that I don't have mine yet but will let him know when I do. I didn't even sign my name. He calls twice. I don't answer. He calls cell. I don't answer. I was mostly in a meeting but also busy. Then starts the texting "how are you." I say fine and I don't ask how he is. He asks what's going on and I say "nada". I don't ask what he's doing. Finally he says okay, sorry to bother you. I don't reply.
Then he calls. "So, Mel, how long are you going to keep this up?" You know, I can think fast enough for a smart a$$ comeback, but when I am trying to make a R work, my thought process is just frigging out the window. We spend an hour placing blame but not focusing on a solution, with him running thru the whole scenario from beginning to end again, like it's necessary, with him still the victim. Never seeing that he EVER did anything wrong. All he sees that he messed up is drinking for the first ten years "and then I quit drinking. I went to counseling and I'm better now" Nothing else he did contributed to the downfall. It is completely and totally my fault. He doesn't understand that he set his boundary (wanting the D) and now I have to set my own (no contact except for kids) for my own sanity. He is mad about that!! Finally he is yelling that I am being hateful and spiteful again, two of his four favorite words (the last being "YET AGAIN".) He yells in the phone "Is this how you want it? No talking, no nothing at all, except about the kids??? Is this what you want?? Because this pisses me off!!" And finally I just say "Yeah, if you are going to yell and scream, it is." And I hung up.
Within ten minutes I have a text "Tell me your next appointment and I will go". I don't think he really wanted to make an effort. He wanted to go in there and rant on me in front of her, so that he would feel better. But she won't allow it and I know that. I told him he would have to make his own appoinment by himself first. That she wouldn't see us together until later. I think it deflated him somewhat. "So we can't go together?" But he has said before "I really don't think you want me to go in there and tell this lady everything." lmao, sweetie, because I already did so you go have at it. But I didn't say that last part. I told him, yeah, I do. Why wouldn't I?? I WANT THINGS BETTER. And if that's what it takes, then so be it.
Good golly. ya'll didn't bargain for all that did you???
J, I completely agree and will make this suggestion for EVERYONE out there. There is no better job as far as time with your kids, than the school district job. Just get a foot in the door. Teach if you can. Support staff if you can't. It's not all peaches and cream, don't get me wrong. But the time I have off with D4 is a priceless treasure that I will never trade for anything. Wish I could post pics so ya'll could see the little angel. I don't know what I would ever do if something happened to her.
Love ya'll and thanks for listening to me rant and offering advice. I don't think is quite the right path yet. I think he's looking down the path for the wrong reasons, but at least he realizes there is one and is maybe looking at it. Not taking it, mind you, but baby steps, I know. Baby steps.
mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
