I can't understand why she can't kiss me. One of the DB techniques is to ask for what you want. So I ask my W if we can work on baby steps. She didn't have any idea of what I was talking about. I explained that small positive changes are better than trying for that big change. So I figure if she kissed me on the cheek that would be a start. I also suggested she say goodnight to me when she goes to bed.
As you can guess no kiss. Last night she came to bed (with her own blanket) and said goodnight.
She's driving me crazy. I remember when I thought okay as long as we can talk to each other I'll stay in this M.
Your right. I don't think I'm ready for piecing. She works late tonight, I doubt she's going to say goodnight befores she goes to bed. She'll come home at 1-2 AM even though she gets off before then.
Should I remind her tomorrow morning if she doesn't say goodnight, or should I just let it go. I feel if I don't say anything then it will be just a one time thing.
Last night I slept so far on my side of the bed, it reminded me of time she dropped the bomb. She didn't come near my side and I didn't care.
In the morning, I spoke to her about baby steps. We talked about how a baby step is an improvement, no matter how small it is, it's still for the better. I gave her some ideas of baby steps she could work on. She thought I wanted them all at once, so I apologized for having it sound that way.
As I left for work she gave me a hug as usual. She then sat down, and I reminded her how our sitch is physically hurting me. I told her it wasn't her fault, but it's the sitch where in. Then I went and gave her a hug and told her that I still want to be M to her. As she was hugging me, I asked for a small kiss on the cheek and she did! I thanked her for trusting me and wished her a good day.
Most of the week my W has been sleeping on the couch. She's told me it's not a deliberate act. She likes to watch a lot of television and she falls a sleep while watching TV. I've been doing my thing and will scoot up to her for a hug before I go to bed. The hugs seem to be more received, where she will open her arms to allow me near her. Sometimes, I'll kiss her on the cheek and other times I'll run her back.
This after she came to me for a hug before she left for work. While she was hugging me I asked for a kiss on the cheek. She gave me a quick kiss and ran out of the room.
One of the signs when a person is coming of the MLC is they will try to first connect to the children. My W is not trying to do just that. She use to ignore our D and didn't seem to care what she did. This year for Christmas D decided to get mom a little necklace with a broken heart pendant. I says IL my mom and D keeps one half while my W keeps the other. Well D11 asked mom if she was wearing it and my W said no. Our D asked if she could and her mom said okay. It's been a few days and she still has the necklace on.
