Hey, I've just come up with a new TV show for Dbers, it'll be called "Dancing With the Scars" and the dances will include the Betrayal Boogie, the I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You Jive, the Rotten Relationship Rhumba, the Separation Salsa and lots more. We're talkin' chart toppin'! Stay tuned.
Yeah, we can add hip hop outta here, tango to go, twist of words, rewrite history hustle, the lying line dance, and divorce disco. Woohoo!!!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Last night I celebrated Chinese New Year at STBX's. She cooked a lovely dinner and my parents joined us as she had invited them. As we sat down to eat STBX says "Dad, would you like to say a prayer" WTF!She has never asked anyone to pray before a meal ever. STBX ditched the Christian thing over 15 years ago (oh yeah, and she blames me for her loss of faith...go figure). Maybe, just maybe, something is working on her...who knows. I know I've prayed that, regardless of what happens to our M, the Lord find a way to touch her and bring her back to the land of the living. It'll be interesting to see where this goes, I'm thinking nowhere but you never know, do ya.
It is interesting that she would request prayer at the table. Perhaps it was because your parents were there? Or, there is something working within her. Your STBXW sure is a strange inside/out upside/down lady. Maybe she is trying to find her true self. I sure hope so for her sake, if no-one else's.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Your STBXW sure is a strange inside/out upside/down lady.
You said it, Being Me! When we first met my W was an Evangelical Christian, she went to church weekly and belonged to a small group etc. I did not subscribe to her faith but respected her right to hold such beliefs. I would attend her church a couple of times a month and would go out on outings with her and her church group. I respected her faith yet disagreed with it. I respected her belief that sex was only to be had inside of a marriage, that was important to her and therefore important to me! I never pushed for anything before we were married. After a couple of years or so W dropped her church as she felt any questions she posed about faith were countered with "we'll pray for you", not any real answers. Somehow in re-writing our marriage history she has pegged me with being the cause of her losing her faith. I don't get it, maybe my arguments against faith made more sense to her at the time then "we'll pray for you"...I don't know. I know my parents have said that she was a lot happier when she was going to church and had her beliefs. So she may have asked for prayer, as you said, due to my parents being there and/or because she knows I have a Christian faith now...I don't know that either. What my faith has given me is the recognition that there is more to life than just me and I think that is something she sorely needs. She is so caught up in "me" that she has trouble seeing beyond it. She has become an angry, selfish person who sees only how the world is acting upon her. She sees herself as helpless and therefore needs that OP to rescue her. Her faith is misplaced. But, that's for her to figure out, I can only hope and pray that she find some sort of peace and begins to see the person she is capable of becoming. If God has made us in His image, what higher worth can we possibly have? Thanks for checking in, Being Me.
Just a guess here Wii, the old abnormal 500 series psych classes kicking in. You remember the old "pong" game, the old black and white paddles and a "ball" being shuttled back and forth? Many folks do that, going back and forth on the extremes, but get closer and closer to the middle, equalibreium (sic?) for them, wherever "middle" is for them, the balance point for them if you will. You may be seeing someone searching for that, thus her background and this coming out now, trying to find that again. Not unusual for them to turn their backs on their faith, beliefs, and "blame" someone else. It's their own uncertainty, their own current search for themselves that they have lost track of and can't find, but much easier to throw it off on someone else instead of accepting their own responsibility for it. Or not.
On this end,I'm surviving just fine, although the ghosts of the past keep trying to reinsert into my life, or just agravate it. But those are stories to be told in the upcoming 3/09 surviving post by GB, and not here to step on your thread. Take care.
I've learned not to bother with these little bits of bait that STBX throws out from time to time. When we were married (oh yeah,we still are married!) I used to get encouraged when she'd say things like "I'm so confused, I need time to think" but the she'd turn around and say "Oh, I'm sorry if you thought I was confused, I'm not"...OOOOKKKK. Now, she can toss these little goodies out whenever she wants and I'm not putting any of myself into the outcome. Yup, I'd love for her to find her way but I'm not losing sleep over it! Uh Uh, those days are done. Take care, GB.
