One hair-brained scheme, yes, Jack Guilt dragged my ass down that other highway to hell remember? Let us not.
So the hairbrained scheme originated here 2 years ago when I read of a poster's husband who had been busted on a website called adultfriendfinder. God as my witness, I had not a clue what that was much less what it meant to have a "profile" there. This was way before I was ever on any social networking sites. Way before I joined myspace or facebook. I typed it into my address bar, added the dot com and lost whatever innocence I might have had left after my MLC. We joked about it all over my thread that week...
Flashback to a few weeks prior to that before I go on...
My husband knew I posted here because I had told him. Some of my friends had even posted on a thread TO my husband. Anyway he was well aware of my activities here and I thought he might have been reading. Everything had grown stagnant and it's apparent in the hindsight that I had reached a point of desperation.
Thus began the stupidest thing I've ever done. I was totally renegade - I didn't tell ANY of my DB peeps.
I created a profile on adultfriendfinder. My thinking at the time was that my husband would see the talk on my profile and go see what it was and "find" me. I did not have naked pics of myself on there but I did have some "hot ones" and a face shot with sunglasses. I was not hiding. The text to my profile was written with the idea of - if Jeff went there - he would remember how good things had been between us before. I was that desperate. I tried to appeal to the "man" in him.
For 10 days I waited.
On the 10th day he found me. It was a Saturday morning. I received an email from a profile on the site. I opened it and it said:
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So after he created himself a profile and emailed me at that site, of course all hell broke loose...
That was not a good decision for a woman who had cheated on her husband to make. I cried, explained, cried some more, got pissed... the whole nine yards. He told me that prior to that, he had spent the previous 2 weeks thinking about coming home - and that he was going to - but then he saw the profile. So I got a separation agreement instead of reconciliation.
It needs to be said that in all the time that has passed since that ridiculous event, my husband and I have grown a lot closer and we've talked about it. He actually has teased me about it recently. He knows what I intended. And I understand what he SAW.
Lesson learned.
I actually appreciate the opportunity to tell the story again because it makes me realize just how much farther I, and WE, have come since August of 2006 when that happened.
When it all went down, I did come here and admit to everyone what I'd done. And I took the 2x4s. But they were nothing compared to the personal cost I paid.
Oh, I totally admit to having lost my damn mind, you'll get no argument from me on that. But Jeff told me just a few weeks ago that he saved my pictures on his computer and still has them so there's that...
Amy thank you for sharing that. I have heard a lot of people say to make the spouse jealous, because they always want what they can't have. This just goes to show how it can backfire. I am glad you and Jeff have come so far since then!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
