Well, Things have gotten tougher now. Last night, while the W and I were in bed, I just happened to place my hand on her arm. She withdrew and pushed my hand away. I asked what brought that on ? She stated that this was about sex. I assured her it wasn't. She rolled over to ignore me. I should have let it go but, I again inquired as to why she was so hypersensitive to my touching her arm. She said me touching her in bed is always about sex.(I never knew this, I had just stepped on a land mine) ) I sat up and inquired about if she was having an affair, and she stated absolutely not. (I know, bad question by me) She went on about how she told me about her feelings before, and why didn't I believe her. I got up and went to the basement, as she went to smoke in the garage. After a few minutes I went to the garage, and asked Why we could not work out her feelings about this. (another bad question) She stated again she is numb and doesn't feel anything for me. I also need to inform you all about an incident we had around 5 years ago. During one of our arguments she threatened to hit me by raising her hand. (I don't think she would have now) But, instinctively I pushed out with my hands and she fell down. After this, she came at me trying to hit me. It ended there. I took responsibility for my actions, sought counseling, assured her it would never happen again by me. She has never been able to forgive me for that moment. I had thought things were going great up until the bomb. I was really watching myself, but she continues to accuse me of yelling sometimes. My voice goes up an couple of octives when emotional. Back to the garage, I was calm but, like she does, she accused me of yelling. I apologized, lowered my tone. I told her I've been doing my best. She commented she has had enough and stated she wants to divorce. We talked a little more about it, but as she had to work, went back to bed. This morning she was not wearing her wedding ring. She said goodbye as she left, I said, I still love you but , I know you don't want to hear this.
I am waiting for things to cool down right now. I don't know where this will go from here... I guess we'll see. Needless to say I feel it's pretty much hopeless.
