Bobbi, I know how it feels. It feels unnatural to distance yourself form the man you love. Especially when you think that you are the only one keeping your connection alive since he has expressed he is not sure about what he wants.
It is the instict that tells you to keep "stretching" yourself to reach him, to fill the distance he creates/created. I remember thinking "this cant be right, I should hold on to him, not keep away, let him go". The truth is that no matter how hard we stretch ourselves, if they are not willing to cover their part of the gap, the opposite happens, they take steps back to maintain the space they need. What did help me, was thinking of the 6 months prior his departure when I really stretched myself as much as it was humanly possible with no results. Also, after a while, I had this "love and let him be free" principle, I came to the conclusion that I needed him to choose ME with his own free will, that if it was meant to be, things would change.
Try and stop thinking in terms of days/weeks and dont occupy your mind with what he is doing or not. In a way I guess this is what will happen with our kids also when they grow up. We will need to let them go, no matter how worried we will be about them, against our motherly insticts, hoping that what we taught them will keep them safe and that the conection we have created with them will remain strong (I hope I makes sense).
This time, you must have faith that Dan will realise what you had and find his way back. On his own. xxx K
