So, H wants to do the 8 weeks. He said he actually likes the idea a lot of talking to my C because he feels comfortable with her. He agreed with the little bit I told him of what she said. I feel much better. It's like I have a clear time frame and action plan.
Yesterday a few issues came up with the kids. My S who is generally very sweet, talked back to his teacher and then refused to do what she asked. Accidentally H went to pick them up and the teacher told him our S is completely lost to his thoughts and cant concetrate.He constantly tries to get her attention. H and the kids came back and they had a fight with S. In the end they were OK and S promised to behave. This morning I go to school and my Ds teacher tells me that my D told her class that her only dream is her dad to come back home. She said she told H that, and asked him not to tell me because she thinks that D is missing him and that no matter what we do with our M he needs to find more time with her. So, you can imagine, he went to school and both teachers told him are kids are having issues.
He called earlier and asked if he can come over tonight, to stay the night. He will come late, after 2 in the morning. I said I would like that. We'll see, xxx K
Developments! Love to see developments, don't you??
It is a shame your children are struggling but the fact is children DO struggle in these situations, especially the 'undecided' situations b/c it allows them to dare to hope. I am not blaming you in any way I am just sharing how I feel about my own situation I guess...It is good he heard it from the teachers. I know you had mentioned several months ago that you didn't always want to be the one to bring up the kids because you didn't want him thinking you were using their emotions against him.
He came around 3. I snuggled close to him half asleep and he held my hand. That was all. K
PS I didnt get upset or disappointed. I was sweet this morning kissing him goodbye and being careful not to wake him completely while preparing the kids for school. I am looking forward to the MC.
I think snuggling is a good start. You said you weren't "there" when it comes to the other stuff in bed yet, anyway, right? At least he held your hand.
Do your kids know your situation? I know you said they were both having 'issues' at school. Do they consider you guys separated? I just wonder with you all taking a trip together at Christmas and then him spending the night, do you think that affects them?
I just wonder b/c my S pointed out again today that Daddy was not there when he woke up.....he is noticing Daddy is never here in the mornings even though he is here when they go to bed...
We all think that love is a strong feeling that overwhelms us and boggles our minds, that feeling of new love. But we are not in tune with the little tiny feeling of constant love, the smoldering ember that does not die. I think you do love your husband. There is no way that you would keep doing what you are doing if you did not love him.
Sara, I thought of that exact thought. I always felt/feel what I told him when he moved out :there is bond that cant be broken between us. All I need to do now is figure out what kind of bond this is.
As I was telling a dear friend, this time I am doing the whole thing. Control negative thoughts, be patient, loving and I will do my best to make it easier on him to express himself. I dont want anything to "cancel" this effort and second guess myself afterwards. No "what ifs" etc . When this is over I will have made up my mind and he will either move in and we have a life together or I will quit and proceed with D. Somehow the potential either way makes me feel...excited.
Our first session is on Sunday. This T knows his schedule and suggested Sat/Sun mornings. I went ahead and scheduled this Sun not to waste a whole week.
Bobbi, my S knows we are trying. I told him the truth as the T suggested. My D is avoiding to address the issue. I dont know if the two of them have discussed it. They are not seeing any big differences in our routines so that helps a bit not to have great expectations.He has only slept 3-4 time shere and we always had an excuse (somekind of an excuse).
H called and talked to me about his job. He is sucked in by an issue at the newspaper and I tried to make him see the real picture. He said he sees my point and will try to adopt the suggested attitude. I was being very careful not to sound "motherly".
Staying in tonight. Sleeping. Didnt sleep well last night. It's rainy here and will be tomoroow too. xxx K
