So how is all of that going on your end? Has he already filed the dreaded B? I have my appointment with the L on the 31st and then I am waiting to get my taxes back to actually file.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So how is all of that going on your end? Has he already filed the dreaded B? I have my appointment with the L on the 31st and then I am waiting to get my taxes back to actually file.
kat
I've been getting emails from our credit cards and stuff that looks like he is going online and paying them. I think it's weird he would pay the bills and then declare B. I mean if you can pay the bills, why are you declaring B? A lot of the debts he ran up this past year were L bills and that kind of thing, shouldn't recur. I'm wondering if he just said that stuff at the hearing b/c that's the only defense he has that he doesn't have the money to pay alimony. Hoping the judge will realize that at the next hearing or whatever....My L is waiting for him to start the mediation process and they don't seem to be rushing into that, so this D is going to be a very slooooow one I think. Karen
My ex thinks I am stupid for paying my bills. I am trying to pay what I can because I can't deal with the stress of having them call and write on top of all the other stress I have right now. I also have to come up with the fee and L's fees so saving as much as possible right now too.
Will be happy when I am past this. I think you are right about him not wanting to pay alimony. My ex was saying this is all I have, I can't do more. Well all we had was paying bills, he wasn't thinking child support + alimony + paying the bills he was responsible for. so in his thinking, it is my fault for the B too.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm pretty sure my H feels that way too b/c I haven't had a full-time job. He doesn't look at his moving out and the legal bills and improving his standard of living the past year (he deserves that and the OW you know) as contributing to a B. But the truth is he never even discussed $$ problems with me, b/c I def. want to help out the family as much as I can. When he finally did discuss it with me, he'd already been in a PA with the OW for a month and EA prob. for a long time. He said he didn't think I'd be willing to work stuff out. I think he just wanted to think that. The fantasy in their heads is different than reality. Karen
Oh I agree with that one. I know ex thinks we should be able to agree on all this parenting stuff. When he stopped by the couple of times to the C, he didn't want to hear that we would need to work on us talking/communicating so that we could help the kids more. He didn't want to have to talk to me!!!
Now that S13 is in trouble in a few classes, he thinks we should be able to talk this all out. He says S13 is responsible for all of his grades and he needs to do better. Point taken but if he doesn't understand it, then we need to arrange times with the teacher or be there to help with the homework. I have told S13 that I will help how ever I can but algebra was about 30 years ago! he just doesn't get it but I am trying to help. Found a site that even helps you work through problems if you can match up your book.
Told ex maybe homeschooling would be an option. Well I have to agree with that he says. What a crazy conrolling man he has become. Isn't this about S13?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So I emailed H back saying sure I'll pay the bill although I couldn't help adding in (ok I'm not perfect) I think you were supposed to pay the bills in November. OK, this came back from him: i don't understand your comment about me paying it. i was voluntarily paying everything i did not have any order which required it. nevertheless i will pay half even though you wrote the check. It's funny b/c he just irritates me so much sometimes but this one actually made me laugh. Just funny and predictable. I'm going to pay the bill (my cell is charging now) and thank him for sending the info and tell him I paid it. I also finally listened to my vms today and he brought the kids almost an hour late last night, but called my vm to let me know, so I plan to thank him for that and ignore the rude stuff, like dealing with a kid which I guess sometimes they kind of are. I'm feeling strong today, full of Jesus and a self-help book I've been reading! He can't get me down when I'm having the good pma. Hope y'all are too!!! Karen
Yes, they called me about a week ago. I told them I didn't have a land line now, just the cell, but would pay for the landline again if I got the job (used to pay for one but we never used it so eventually I stopped). The woman said they don't have any open positions now, but if I pay for the landline again, reapply in a few months. But I'm kind of hoping I can find a job by then, but you never know!!! Karen
SOunds good. I hope you get a job that suits you soon, too.
I heard this song today and thought of you and Kat.
The ones you love they let you down And I want you to know that Im sorry The choices that they made were wrong You were caught in the middle and Im sorry So when the anger and the pain Get the best of you I know it seems like youre all alone But I am feeling it too
'Cuz you're my little girl You're the one that I created No one in this world could ever be like you When you're cryin' in the night All you need to do is call me Ill be there for you 'Cuz youre my little girl
When you're lookin in the mirror I hope you're likin' what you see Because no matter what you're feelin' You're perfect to me Because I see you as a child Blameless in my sight Just spend some time with me And Ill make everything alright
I know you don't deserve what you've been through I know it doesn't seem fair I know that there are times you think you're alone But you've got to know that I will be there, be there
You have a strong faith, but I thought you might like to hear those words. The group is Go Fish, you may have heard it before.
wdid, that's wonderful!!! I haven't heard that, but will check it out today (youtube maybe)?
So I paid the bounced check yesterday and emailed H back that I took care of it and thanked him for the info and also for calling when he brought the kids home late the other night. He emailed back "you're welcome" Hey, that's huge for him, don'tcha think? Going to the C this afternoon so will be good I'm sure. 2 days of good PMA in a row. I have to go out and shop and try to find a pink sleeping bag today (Walmart or Tarjay or something) for D9's gs sleepover tomorrow night. H is going to take S15 for the night just guy on guy time then, so I'm happy about that too. Hope y'all are having a good day!!! Karen
I think you were supposed to pay the bills in November. OK, this came back from him: i don't understand your comment about me paying it. i was voluntarily paying everything i did not have any order which required it. nevertheless i will pay half even though you wrote the check. It's funny b/c he just irritates me so much sometimes but this one actually made me laugh. Just funny and predictable. I'm going to pay the bill (my cell is charging now) and thank him for sending the info and tell him I paid it. I also finally listened to my vms today and he brought the kids almost an hour late last night, but called my vm to let me know, so I plan to thank him for that and ignore the rude stuff, like dealing with a kid which I guess sometimes they kind of are.