Hey V.. I am doing pretty good, can't complain..!!
Journal.. Friday night went out with my friends and had a good time in the pool hall. Yesterday morning I went to the first Boxer dog group meeting in Atlanta. It was great. We had about 60 boxers running around. My dog had a blast. Just to get out and talk to strangers with common interest makes me feel pretty good. Last night I went to a pop luck/movie outing at my friend. I made some apple turnovers. They liked them and I had a good time also.
Today I am just chilling out. I am sitting here in Starbucks, enjoy my coffee, checking in here and reading my book. I am reading Against Medical Advice by James Patterson. It is a very good book.
I just can't complain now. I should see my S this Friday and W is still in fog...LOL Oh well, what can I do? Not much for now. Mind as well enjoy what I have instead of dwelling on what I could have... I think this is better way to live.
Staying busy and yet slow enough enjoy the roses...!!
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
I am glad you are doing so well. I am struggling so hard to attain the PMA and the peaceful outlook you seem to have achieved. You are such a great inspiration. I am sure you are very excited to see your son soon.
I just read your little pearl of wisdom on Carlos's thread and wanted to come here to thank you. It is great advice, the importance of staying true and fair to oneself and to listen to one's little voice.
I needed to read that this morning, thanks for the great advice and the great timing.
I agree with what was said earlier, I wouldn't start mentioning the D word to her. I am sure you have already told her that you don't want a D, so she knows that. No need to bring that up again. I also agree with others on your incredible PMA!! Keep it up!
So you're a fixer huh? Just like me! I wouldn't worry about expressing your "fixer" opinions, it's forcing them on her that's ticking her off. It's ok to mention your opinion once and then leave it at that. She has heard you and will remember what you said. You might be suprised to hear her say something later like: "You know, I thought about this and I decided that maybe I need to do this." and it will be what you had told her she should do. It has happened to me. Try to refrain at that point from claiming an easy score by saying: "I told you so!" (I have to really hold that back!!). That's below the belt.... By giving her your opinion on something without pushing your view, she can feel safe to come to you for advice and that's how it should be!
I have pushed my opinions for years I am sure, thinking I knew best, but the only thing that does is tell her that her opinion doesn't matter. I believe that's one of the reasons I am where I am now. I know my W is much more open to my opinions now, because I don't push it, just state it and then let her think about it. Usually, she will bring it back up a couple of days later after some thought. My W will also ask me for my opinion now, whereas right after the "bomb", she wouldn't because "I would just lecture her like I am her father". Last thing about this: don't say things like "You need to .....", instead say: "Maybe you could try to....". I am sooo guilty of doing that in the past!!
Just some stuff from my perspective, maybe it can help you channel your "fixer" personality in a more conducive way to your W. I believe I have been able to make progress in that regard in my sitch.
I will try and check in on you a little more often!
Hey V I am doing fine. Yes, W will meet me halfway tomorrow. We probably will have lunch together and S will stay at least a week here with me....can't wait. Just go with the flow and see....
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
NW - A week with your son...that's just fantastic. You radiate a lot of calm and peace - and I'm sure that your son will love being around your energy for so many days.
How will you be celebrating the New Year? Will you have to do a lot of cleaning on the 25th?
Carlos It will be great time when he is here. My family is really excited to see him. We are going to have a feast on Chinese New Year. It kind of go against my diet plan, oh well...LOL. I think I will clean around the house on the 25th per tradition. My house need a good clean up anyway, plus it may bring some good luck in my life. We all need some once a while...
Have a great weekend, everyone....!!
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
