Why in the world if you are working on things with your W, would you not at least respond to a casual text?
Because he probably isn't (sincerely working on the marriage). As you describe it (and I haven't read your thread yet), it sounds like he's in an EA with this other woman, and he has the best of both worlds right now.
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What are we to do when, as you mentioned, they throw just enough crumbs out there to keep us dangling, but yet, no real progress is being made? My H says we are making "progress" yet he goes home to his own place every Sunday night and stays there through Wed-Thursday. During that time, our contact is extremely limited if not non-existent. No phone calls during the day, only talking if we absolutely have to. So he gets to live the single life 3-4 days a week and "play" family the rest. What is up with that?
Us humans are path-of-least-resistance creatures. We will do whatever is EASIEST, and whatever it is we're ALLOWED to do. Rarely will we push OURSELVES out of our comfort zones. In fact, it's a basic law of physics: "A body at rest tends to remain at rest, unless acted upon by an outside force." Right?
The contact with OW is either a dealbreaker for you or it isn't. If it IS, then I suggest you get proof, and deal with it accordingly.
