The choices I was referring to were specific to the topics alex and the rest of us were disucussing in the thread. The path we choose to follow in our desires and the choice to use DB techniques or not.
The decision (choice) to self - reflect, discover, analyze and correct or not. The key being, the ability to internalise all of it and not expect our spouse to fall into our way of thinking.
Control what you can, if our spouses recognize our efforts and they begin to follow the direction we are headed, we've achieved the ultimate goal. The primary purpose of DBing is not to save a marriage, it is for us as individuals to self discover and correct behaviors and R skills. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake.
