I'm not sure what the "it" is that you seem to think I feel you do not have.
Reading what your counselor said to you, well, I agree with most of what she said.
Your heart has not been in this reconciliation. I understand why and have tried to express that in my posts to you. It is difficult when we have finally found peace, to be thrust back in to the "repair" mode. Especially when WE have finally reached the point where we are not interested in repair anymore.
Things are further complicated by the pressures we feel to go ahead and try because of family, children, friends.
The thought I was trying to share was that a rebuilding of the relationship between the two of you required a committed effort on BOTH of your parts. It is certainly true that your husband needs to do much more. But you also have to find a way to move from your rigid position of waiting for his movement.
You are on one side of the teeter-totter (gee, hope you know what that is) and he is on the other side.
To this point, my view of your situation is that you have been waiting for him to move over to your side.
I think what really needs to happen is that the two of you need to meet in the middle.
Regardless, I hope you understand that I sympathize with your current situation. I think I know that it is incredibly difficult. And like the others who write to you, I want you to find that place in your life where you are able to shine again.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
