In your sitch FIB, I cannot imagine wasting any time at all "coping" with that thought. There is no OM in her life now, that's a potential stepdad anyway, that you know of. And even if there were, he'd hardly be someone you have to cope with. You will not be replaced. Ever.
IF you and your wife really divorce, there are two options for her and OMs. Either she's always with a loser and therefore that is who gets to be around your kids some times (but will only contrast that much more with you) OR she gets a decent guy who treats your kids justly, in the limited times he's around. So, is that so bad?
It is not as if she is with OM and he's a handsome billionaire who swept her off her feet and makes great love to her and LOVES kids and they love HIM and he WANTS MORE of them but only if she does, and he does not ever want her to "work" or do anything but look good...and travel, and gives her bling and cruises, and blah blah blah. Nope.
1) you are not in a competition with any OMs for the role of father, and 2) even if you were, you'd "win".
Stop thinking of this. Put the STOP sign up and don't go there. YOU WILL NOT BE REPLACED...period.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
