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now here is how the rest of the evening went:

he was so-so but asked me how my book selling was going and i said okay, then he asked if i had a few hundred to put toward the mortgage payment and i almost flipped out. i said no, not at all--i am paying for some things but i also have to buy groceries so there is no way i can afford to contribute to the house payment.

he said he was getting to the point where he cannot borrow anymore from his credit card but i said nothing.

when he left and said he would come over "whenever...."


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 168
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Sounds like he might be hitting BOTTOM. If nothing else he has hit the bottom of the credit card.

A friend of mine and I were talking about "hitting bottom" today at work. When is the bottom? I thought bottom would be when we had to declare bankruptcy...but now I'm told that that isn't bottom. I know there isn't a firm answer on that but I just keep hoping...we've hit bottom.

I'm sorry his credit card has run out...but I'm sort of glad that he's running into some brick walls.

snowmm #1699081 01/22/09 03:28 AM
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I do know he has another credit card that has a substantial credit limit. I don't think he has really tapped into that but it seems to me that he is looking to me to help contribute more than I am. Okay, I am contributing--food, care for the kids........and some things i do pay for but he has always paid for the bulk of things.

He has no intentions of looking for a job from what I can tell.

I am not going to worry as God has always provided.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 168
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I know you won't worry and yes, God will provide He always does. But sweetie you are human and I know your heart is crying out wondering when you are going to be moving on to the next stage of your journey.

(Any chance you can find that credit card and get rid of it? Just kidding - I know you wouldn't do that but sometimes you would like to.)

snowmm #1699099 01/22/09 03:49 AM
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i'm sorry MWG, again I don't know how you do it...


M41
H42
D17
Adopted N14
M22 T24
"Bomb" 4/07
Sep 8/07
Admitted OW 11/07(only to me)
OW back 12/4/07
PA on off thru 7/08
says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08
D final 7/09
Moving on and up!!
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If I were to get rid of his card, who makes the house payment?

It is not my place to even go there and I do not have access to his credit cards or checking account. The only thing I manage and he has given me control over is the unemployment account and that is under $1000 per month--that is less than our house payment, but enough to pay utilities and his credit cards each month.

I am to the point where I really don't care what he is doing as I am sick and tired of it. I can only focus on me and the kids.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,941
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OP Offline
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TOH:

No need to apologize as I know this is part of his journey. As a very dear friend of mine told me tonight, he is making progress and to let it be, and that is what I am doing.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 168
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Tired and weary of it...that's what I have found myself saying lately.

I'm several months behind you...my husband still has his job but I'm not sure how much longer that he's going to stay with it. We no longer have credit cards. We are behind every paycheck... He has agreed to start selling things on e-bay. I find the stuff in the house to sell, he will take the pictures and do the research for pricing and he will do the selling. (Thanks for the idea.)

I just hope that when we get to where you are in this journey...I will remember to keep my mouth shut as you do so well.

snowmm #1699140 01/22/09 04:48 AM
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Sorry to hear you are behind every paycheck as are so many these days. So far, we are not delinquent on any of our bills, at least not now.

I have sold quite a bit on ebay but the fees cut into my $$$ in a big way. I had almost 200 items selling at one time so you can imagine how much the fees were not to mention if it did not sell the first time, I would relist it.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
snowmm #1699181 01/22/09 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted By: snowmm
Sounds like he might be hitting BOTTOM. If nothing else he has hit the bottom of the credit card.

A friend of mine and I were talking about "hitting bottom" today at work. When is the bottom? I thought bottom would be when we had to declare bankruptcy...but now I'm told that that isn't bottom. I know there isn't a firm answer on that but I just keep hoping...we've hit bottom.

I'm sorry his credit card has run out...but I'm sort of glad that he's running into some brick walls.



As long as the OP is in the picture, I don't think they hit bottom. Just my opinion.

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