I didn'tlam the conversation closed, it just wasn't the time for it. Rmemeber me saying, I feel like maybe I should contact her and jsut ask how its going asnd what not. that was before today happened. It is n't a coincidence that I felt I wanted to communicate with her and bam, she called me. Once again for help and some info. but I can't believe it was for just that. Is it possible she is now the one testing the waters. I was very nice to her today, very nice. I talked with her about her car, let her talk. Offered my 2c, and she went into how she talk to the bank this and talked to this one that..We walked together and talked about it. she told her views. It was mostly bs, but she seemed like she wanted to talk to me, "TO ME"!

So I let her. Yes , trust me, my feelings were aside, the rage does that as I explained. There is no emotion in that, it is pure instinctive behavior. When we left there was woman teacher watching the door. when we got to her I looked over at her as my W was gabbing away about how she needs to get her car fixed. the teacher said bye, have a good day, and I said you too, and she smiled and said thank you. I continued walking and looked over at w and saw she had stopped talking. I smiled and she started again and she thanked me again for the money and I kissed D good-bye. W said I don't know how late we'll be, and I said well she's with you over D29, I am not worried. But call if you stay over. And we said bye.

Amy, 25year, FH ,t'gone, DD is you all were there and around the corner you woudllv've been high 5'ng me around the building. It was not an act, it was as natural as natural. YEs 25year, thats what I saw, the LRT is working, just listen to her. and it wasn't the conversation, it was that she was so focused on telling me things, I mean at that small amount of time, I was everything to her. My mind was telling her, this is why I am here, this is who you should be with , the man who listens to your problems, nods his head and helps figure out how to fix it and move on...I wasn't that person, maybe for a while, but I am the tyope of person she needs now.

No, Amy, I am not slamming doors, but you hit the nail on the head. May be she thought, wow,this is how he must've felt when this all tstarted when he kept trying to communicate with me and I just ignored him. I didn't ignore her or treat her bad. As you remember from thanksgiving, this is miles over that. This weekend I was afraid of her being around, nervous, I now can't wait. I wil put out some food, cooking and doing a little baking. Have some people coming over. I will be entertaining company, hopefully she wil be here to spend more time with mom and family and firends and not out with OM. But it will be more of the same from me, I will not exclude her from conversation, I willnot be short. But she will see my house, not our house, she will see friends and family getting togther and laughing and will feel all that love, and if at the end she doesn't miss that feeling and that type of enviironment, then God has His work cut out for Him.

I used all of your advice Amy, yours Sandi, FH, Tgone, DD, 25 year. I used my rage. I used my feeling that this will never end, that DB'ng isn't working, I used the words I spoke l;ast night. but mostly, I used the feeling I couldn't wait to tell you all about this morning, the feeling of not BEING ABLE TO EVEN SAY THE WORDS I HAD SAID AS I LAY TRYING TO GO TO SLEEP! I used that absence of emotion and feeling to react positively, instinctively and graciously. And I couldn't have felt better about myself. I felt great relief for my daughter. I could see the weight lift from her. But mostly i could no longer feel my chains. She seemed easier talking to me, more relaxed and maybe 25year is right, maybe she is coming around and to use your words from a while ago, Amy, maybe now she is testing the water, maybe everything in my mind, my heart and my soul are right about this, for oncee, all parts of me are in sync.