My thoughts are swinging back and forth like a pendulum. One minute, I think this whole situation is hopeless and that he and his issues are incurable. Another minute, I totally believe that DB has improved my life and that I am a much better person and what is in the harm of waiting to see how he progresses in his growth.
My emotions are quite steady now. I don't let them get out of hand like I have in the past. Time has helped but also having a POV. Like yesterday, another driver was very rude to me, unwilling to back up in a very narrow driveway. In the past I would have lost my cool and would have stewed on it all day. Her words were, 'I can't back up.' She had a nice suit on and looked like some sort of professional heading off to work. Very stressed and I thought to myself. Do I want to be like her? I thought, no way, she looks like a crazy woman. Who wants to be with that? So I thought to myself, yes, I am annoyed at her but am not going to let her ruin my whole day. I backed up to let her through. I said to myself, I can back up. Then I thought about Obama, paraphrased his words and said to myself, 'Yes, I can.' I said it out loud to myself several times, each time more forceful than the next and I instantly felt better. It in fact, cheered me up.
She said, 'I can't...' I said, 'Yes, I can.'
Yes, I can . Yes, I can. I can do this. I can DB for myself. I can take care of my kids. I can start a new chapter in my life. I can develop deeper more meaningful friendships. I can do so much. Then I saw all the opportunities in my life.
That woman in that other car had such a negative attitude. She had the jag, she had the hubby, she had a fantastic job but she was so unhappy. I don't ever want to be like her again.
Last edited by PositivelyMommy; 01/22/0902:33 AM.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
