Regarding the loans, and your sister's offer, As Amyc says, lose the false pride buddy. Since we're talking about your sons, they must have as much stability as possible right now. They're flippin' out, b/c they saw w flip out. You did the right thing to get the TRO and if you were a woman, everyone here would scream at you to press charges or at least have gotten the TRO. Well done. The BOYS need her to back off if she is willing to do THIS in front of them...as you said, she's a full blown abducted alien now. If she can't see the inappropriateness of violence, and I doubt she can now, at least the boys see you drawing a line in the sand and enforcing it. How can that be a bad thing? I see it as mandatory. Stay strong and CALM. The wackier she acts, the calmer you must be .
So, do your best by the boys. Let that guide you. Do you need a roomate b/c of childcare issues or money or both? If there's a way to have some private space with them even if it's smaller and they share a room, etc. might be better than sharing with a "stranger".
They need to know you will always be there for them no matter what. And as for what you say about her, my GUESS is that you say something like "mommy made a mistake when she lost her temper but that [you] both are working on that..." or "it's not right to lose your temper" and drop the topic. They don't need to have her bashed any more than their own impressions are doing, and if anything, it's your chance to show dignity in the face of crazy ass behavior that is wildly, insanely inappropriate.
In her "defense", from the female viewpoint (I mean the 'crazy alien female' perspective) maybe she was freaked out about the insurance, it felt like a real threat to her and the "babies," and all day she couldn't reach you, so it festered in her all day...and when she saw you, she totally lost it. What a crazy thing to have your sons witness.
Wow. For now, focus on getting a place that you can afford and wth is going on with FIL? Maybe he was upset at the cops taking her away, but does he "get" that the boys are with you and moving on out? Or does he think that throwing you out makes it more likely that she'll get them more often? Sheesh! Oh, let me say you did fine if this story is accurate. Really amazing craziness. She could be hitting rock bottom (damn close to it for sure) but who wants to be near her now? Let her "get healthy" and talk about the R wayyyy later...like, if ever. She really needs help. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
