silvagod, Thanks for the encouragement! You are a sweetie yourself. I read that you had a tough time... understood. I don't know what is right or wrong but I would suggest that when you "screw up" I think detachment would say something like move on. Don't dwell on the mistakes, you apologized for saying things that seemed to be the truth. yeah...the timing wasn't good but I think if you are going to build a new R then you have to communicate how you feel about things - letting someone know what you like or don't like should be helpful information in a R not a blame game. I have found that when I make "mistakes" I do worse if I dwell on it and try to fix it than just ignoring it and moving forward. I think you had a good reason to turn to your W in the situation. If W can't respond positively let her had whatever her problem is at the moment. I think detachment would mean that you let her know what is going on, let her know what you need and then see how she responds. if she offers to help/support take it - if she has a problem then let it go at that point. She will reflect on her own behavior more if you drop it and leave. I have found that if I don't react at that point and let things go - my H thinks about it and recognizes that he did the wrong thing. If I point out his faults he w/d. Just like you told me - you are doing fine... you have a right to feel hurt and angry. Don't know how to read your thread so didn't... but I am sure you will tell how things went in court. Sorry to hear the news about that. It was easier when the kids screw up at young ages because they can't get into much trouble - but when they are adults, it is much harder to deal with. Thanks for being a sweetie to me and to others on this site - it helps! You are a wonderful person.
