I have no intention of forgiving OW. Other people tell me she is not to 'blame' as H met her after he left me (but only just) BUT he was not free to enter into a new R. Hell he still isn't! So as far as I'm concerned she has been VERY complicit in the hurt that has been caused to me and my children. In fact I can categorically say she has been out and out nasty to my children. She may have been ignorant to start off with that he had a W and kids but when he went out of his way to ensure we all had sight of each other she stuck like glue. So no she does not have my forgiveness and never will.
My S16s GF recently told me that she and OW had had a convo about all that has happened (not sure why) and apparently OW said she did feel guilty about keeping H away from his family. Not so guilty that she has walked away though. This tells me two things:
[list] [*]That H must have at some point expressed his guilt at leaving us otherwise why would she say she was keeping him from us? [*]That OW is definately out to get all she can from H
So I'm going to pre-empt the next set of possible questions about how I can forgive H and not OW:
I don't think I have yet forgiven him (and again probably never will) but I do believe that MLC is a mental illness and therefore I am able to show compassion.
I don't think OW who clearly seek a father figure (in my case OWs father just recently turned 50, H will be 44 in a few weeks time) are suffering from a mental illness although they are clearly lacking something in thier lives. There are other ways to solve this rather than destroying the lives of other people whose paths you would never had crossed had you not entered into an illicit R. Whilst I am sad for her that she clearly does not have the R with her father that I have with my own father I do not have compassion b/c she didn't try to fix it in a better way.
H & OW are both running away from something. They are feeding off each other's negative behaviours. I want no part of that. My'old' H had morals and convictions; somewhere along the way he lost them.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
