I was glad she was there. IShe cam in after us and I got up and offered her my seat. The guidance counselor mentioned that the divorce is really hard and neither one of us said anything. I didn't because I do not know what my W is telling D17.

I spoke mostly about things and what needed to happen and where we go, but she is in school, in this program and it should work out.

She had called and asked about the $10 when she called me at work to verify the time. She had two voice mails from the school, a phone call from the school yesterday and one from me telling her what time. She called about the money or who knows maybe she just wanted to talk. i cut her off.

I felt pity because I look at whrere we were, i lost a great paying job, we were struggling but staying on top . Now I am staying on top, getting by, and she is not. She did look rough, not saying it to be mean, did. I looked at her and she did. Whether its the alcohol or her neew lifestyle or maybe she is miserable. whatever, it is taking its toll. The laugh about oh if my car was damaged I would've told them to keep it, but now its my scrap metal, I really need to get that fixed but I don't know what to do about the deductible. i never commented, never answered never sauid a word.

Yeah, I think I am finally detaching. I think the image of me walking is my sign. It is good, I do feel good. I told Amy that I questioned the LRT, but now, i don't know, maybe it is working. Its like when she sees me she feels she needs to tell me about her woes. She never mentions OM, wich she knows would be bad. But I think my demeanor, my attitude and how I was, really was unbelieveable for me. Walking down the hallway to my D17 locker we were about 4 feet apart, she kept looking ove as i looked down the hall. I never said a word. I didn't look like a sad puppy. I had my chest out, walked upright and confident. I had my concerned look. I gave ther the 10 downstaris without her asking for it to save her the embarrassmnet in fron of D17. 10 worth of gas will get her to D29 and home and back and forth to work till Saturday. My guess is her mother is giving her money. Not my issue. I know I will never see the car ins money or that 10. Whatever....

I won't compliment her on being there because she should be there. I have to deal with all the ramifications each day. she talks to D17 and they are open and talk about everything, I know nothing, yet i am the responsible parent.

Guidance counselor and the School VP appluaded me for my constant contact about D17, the emails and phone calls and meetings and said they were glad to meet my W. She didn't get that slap I'm sure.

No I wil stay with LRT, wondering now if she will contact me more if she is feeling a little more comfortable with me. Which takes me back to my orifginal thought, if she believes i am moved on and out of reach, woudl she stay somewhere that is safe, but not making her happy just so she feels like she has someone? She doesn't he is no whre around other than the physical aspect and the partying, the real life, he is absent. I'm starting to really wonder now. We shall see, but I feel good. I didn't give her a kiss goodbye, If I met her today would I marry her, not today, she is a mess and obviously can't deal with it. I could take care of her car thing tomorrow. No joke, done, completely fixed, tire and all. Its amazing what I can do!!!