Hey, NC, I think I saw you on yoyo's thread or somewhere, but wanted to pop in and say hi. I'm almost done with another self-help book I had gotten a while ago and almost didn't read it b/c I'm not in the same place anymore, but it's called The Solo Partner by Phil Deluca. The subtitle is repairing your relationship on your own, and I'm kind of beyond that point, but I think it is a good read b/c I think I may always have these kind of issues in the future; maybe not with a S but with a boss or relative or whatever, or in other future Rs. Also, I think I will always have to deal with H in my life for the next decade or so just as a co-parent so good for that reason. One of the things he talks about that I think I'm "guilty" of is further these arguments when I defend myself or explain stuff or whatever, he says that just keeps the argument going, or gives it extra fire or whatever, even though of course not my intent. And just the importance of stating your position and not defending it or reacting to the blaming and attacking and stuff. He feels if you do that long enough, it does get better so I'm going to try my best and see! Hope you're having a good week!!! \:\) Karen

Me 53
D18, S24