this is always in the back of our mind when we detach or go dark or wonder wth to do. Don't know that there's a real answer except to do what seems to work. But that has two dimensions, or more. For one thing, it's not only about whether your w comes back but how YOU are doing. Perhaps this detaching is what you need to do to survive, and of course I don't know what effect erasing your wife has, on the d's at home. I mean, the m is still worth remembering b/c if it weren't for the m, you would not have these beautiful daughters. You may want to tell them that btw.
My d19 asked if I ever felt trapped into staying with h b/c of them and I said I felt grateful that h and I met and married for without that, these children would not be. No matter what ended up happening, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat, if the only way to have these new people in my life was to marry h. Don't know if this helps but Amyc will have wiser words I'm sure. Good luck, j
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
