Thank you all so much!!! I had a rough weekend, Sunday I stayed in bed a long time & then just watched TV all afternoon. Not what I had planned for GAL after the holidays but loosing my baby has really thrown be back. My other dog & I are taking care of each other right now. She will get the other dogs toys & take them to my bed, we sleep together. It was both dogs in bed. I haven't decided yet about getting another one, your right it is too soon. I feel like once I go to work full time that I'm going to need another one to keep this one company, we'll just have to wait & see.
I did quite a bit of GAL over the holidays, got with several friends but not much lately. That is going to get started back, I've just got to deal with this loss first. I did get up this morning & exercise, something I haven't been doing so that is a start.
No contact with my ex, I think he is in China with OW. I got the house in the divorce so we have no reason for contact. I still get the alimony checks from him thru on-line banking.
I talked with a friend of mine last night that lives in MN, she was the one that had moved to India & I could call her in the middle of the night when all this first happened, she said God sent her to India so she could be there for me to call when it was 2 or 3 in the morning here & everyone else was asleep. They are back in MN now & she is not a dog person but she was very sympathic b/c she knows how close I am to my girls but no one knows unless you have been there. You said it, the loss is an unrated event. It does take time to get over it & you never really get over it you just accept it. I started looking at some of her pictures the other night when she was a pup & growing up, she was so cute & she was so happy. You could just see how happy she was in those pictures. It made me miss her but it was also a comfort in seeing how happy she was. There were also some pictures of ex in there too, it's hard to believe all this has happened. Some reason right now I just feel like he is on a trip.
Thank you all for being here for me, it sounds like you all know what I'm going thru even with the loss of my pup!
I love you all, you just don't know what you all mean to me.
You will get thru this---it is difficult right now but slowly, time does heal. I always thought that sounded ridiculous until my son died and then I realized it was true, time does heal.
And you have good friends who care about you and loving parents as well.
Hang in there.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I am so sorry for your loss. It seems these things happen when we are also going through such trauma with the Ml'er.
The healing is slow, please don't try to rush it.
Thinking of you....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Thank you all for checking on me & thinking about me!!! I really appreciate it!!
Well, I just heard from ex, here is the email he sent me, I actually have a feeling OW sent it:
Just scheduled the last $1500 payment to you. Be advised the March payment will drop to $1000.
Per the decree, if you re-marry you should notify me at this email address immediately.
Best, LT
This is wrong, he still owes one more month of the 1500. I just sent him a copy of the page from the contract & said:
Please see attached copy of contract, you have one more month for $1500 payment.:)
NLT
I guess I should have been a little nicer but it kind of made me mad! Anyway the email came in both their names & I didn't respond the last time they sent me something so I'm sure this is her way of letting me know they are married. I think he is well aware of the dates, well he may not be since he has lost his mind!
NLT it's business contact now and that is it. He has hurt you and there is no reason to be anything but business. I am sure she is monitoring the e-mail. She has to make sure she is handling all the money stuff.
I like that; "if you re-marry you should notify me at this email address immediately." Like that is the furthest thing in your mind right now. It's her way of controlling the money stuff. I am sure if you re-marry then the alimony stops. See it's the money stuff. So sad, but you get a glimpse of who she/they are now.
Stay strong!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
It doesn't matter who sent the email, but it could have been a little more informal. I'm putting my money on the ow sending it to you. You did the right thing by shooting one back with a copy of the page. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with what you did.
Do what you know is right for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm sure she sent the email b/c my ex wouldn't sign it "best", he would say "thanks". That is how he has signed everything else that he has sent me. That is something she would sign. So, it just may have been one of her deals that she knew there was another month but just wanted to make sure that I knew they were married. I don't know for sure but that really made me mad!! My friend said she wish I could have written:
“Don’t count on me losing all my God-given common sense and re-marrying the first “ho” that came along like you did”
But I wouldn't do that b/c I don't want to stoop to her/their level! For a woman to be 50 years old like she is, she is pretty childest! Well, manipulative is probably more the word!
Hey, Your friends words were right on the tip of my tongue! Great minds think alike. Oh, yeah, the "ho" sent that one. She's already counting the money she thinks she'll be getting with the reduction if funds.
I bet when you sent the copy, it put her knickers in a wadded knot.
I still think you did the right thing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
ditto Snodderly. But dang, that would really sting to see it in writing. My younger sister would stare at the checks her xh sent to see if he wrote a note and then analyze it. Finally the ow married sister's xh and SHE would write the notes about financials and that made my sister go nuts...anyhow, you are handling it better than most of us. Excellent fast response.
Oh, and yeah, be sure to let them know if you remarry...Geez!! WTH?? As if you are rushing out to do that...or would maybe want to let THEM know first. Yes, get their mailing address for the invitation...sheesh!
check to see if your decree says you have to remarry to get the alimony reduced b/c if it doesn't say that cohabitation is prohibited...maybe you could tell the ho that you are living with several younger guys and don't see any reason to marry just ONE of them... j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
