As I understand it, some people are interested to know why I was given back my privilege to post on this site after willfully breaking the rules a few weeks ago and posting my email address in addition to later taking a public stand against another individual who also posts here.
I can not tell you why they allowed me to come back.
But I will tell you why I emailed Virginia last night and asked.
I have friends here that I care about and have walked through a lot of stuff with over the last 3 years. Who have walked through a lot of stuff with me. I didn't take them into account when I was acting like a brat and being rebellious. Over the course of the time I was banned, I was invited elsewhere and very much appreciate that but can you imagine the daunting task I'd face if I set out to tell my whole story again?! LOL - It overwhelmed me just to think of it. I am glad for the people who have left here, voluntarily or otherwise, that found new niches. I am glad for those who emailed me and invited me to join them. I didn't find a new niche though.
Divorcebusting.com is a place we have been able to come and share the states of our marriages - and minds - and not be interrupted by outside things - advertisements, etc... - we are able to focus here when we need to and we can go off on crazy rabbit trails being silly when we need a break. Having our own threads allows us to keep everyone's story straight. I got confused offsite a couple times - with newer people - because there was no central location I could hop back over to and review the facts before I shot off a reply. I chalk a lot of this problem up to being a scatterbrain sometimes but truly, I didn't realize how good things are HERE. It never occured to me that THERE ARE NO ADS! With the exception of Michelle's products, which are in a specific location for ordering, there is not one single ad on this site. In 3 years that never occured to me! But elsewhere, in the last 3 weeks, I've been blasted with ad after ad and that doesn't work well for me. So that's just another way in which I came to appreciate things here.
Perhaps I'm old school, hardheaded or just a creature of habit. You may think all my reasoning is lame. That is your preroggative. But I definitely have a new appreciation for the service this website offers to those of us with marital problems.
I no longer care about the extraneous people that pass through here and don't take it seriously. I don't care about those who are less than honest. I know that I am honest - I know sometimes to a fault - and that will not change. I probably won't ever be real prone to coddling. Those who know me know that. Those who meet me and don't like that about me have the option of not associating with me.
Last but certainly not least, I asked to come back because this site helps me. Posting to others helps me keep myself straight. I veer off course and I take leaves of absence but I always end up back here because of the people I care about. It is because of them that I keep walking this walk that might still one day end in my own marriage being restored - but even if that never happens, these people here...and these serious conversations that we have about life and love...they change me. And in coming back I hope that I can contribute something to some of the people here and I hope some of you will continue to help me try to be better than I'm sometimes inclined to be ~
