Ok, now that I have more information from H about how he feels about me, it's time to reassess my goals.

"What parts of your relationship do you want more of?"

I would like H to initiate friendly contact either by phone or email.

"What are the times in your marriage that you'd like to 're-create'? "

I'd like to see H look at me with pleasure in his eyes.

What are some new things that you'd like to see happen?

I'd like to feel detached from whether or not H wants to be married to me.

"When my spouse stops doing ___________, what will s/he be doing?"

When my H stops detaching from me he will start initiating contact.