I am retreating permanently. W is on course for a complete meltdown. I have to wait out the OM if nothing else, and it may end up in marriage, and she may be happy as a pig in poop, too.
Luckily, mentally, I've reached a point where it doesn't matter. There is some curiousity, of course, but I have my focus narrowed to me and my kids.
It's a good place to be - I hate it that I had to reach a point of disgust with W, but it feels good to be released!
