Quote: What are some of the areas where you do trust him? What things are you confident about him pulling through on? How are you acting then? What are you doing differently?
I have gained quite a bit of trust back in him, actually. Enough to relax and let him enjoy time away from me without constantly checking up on him, calling, spying, etc. That is a HUGE step for me. I was rather manic in the past which is why he left the first time. I think I acted alot more at ease.
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Trust is a very tough issue. In the beginning, it might be something that comes automatically, but once it's lost, it seems pretty tough to regain. How can you start to rebuild this trust? What little things can he do right now, what little things IS he doing, that might help rebuild that foundation of trust in your eyes? What could he do that would help you to give him the benefit of the doubt?
I am going to C to help me with regaining the trust I lost. I realize I could use some help, though DB techniques have helped me up to this point.
H is real good about telling me his whereabouts and that he doesn't want anyone else. That eases my mind ALOT. Not completely because I still wonder if he will find my "replacement". He makes me more confident when I see these baby steps he makes.
Problem is...if I blink wrong, he thinks I am doubting him. Very seldom is he right! I have worked hard on this!
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What do you think that "trust" means to him? In his eyes, what would you be doing to show him that, even though you don't always "trust" him, you're going to give him the benefit of the doubt?
Gosh JJ, that is what I am trying to figure out. I try telling him but he thinks I am just denying it. On the occasion my trust slips, I try to talk it out reasonably but he sees it as an attack and the battle is on. It's a lost cause after that!
That's the main reason our R went downhill. He has his own trust issues with me. Even when I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, he thinks I am lying and playing games with him. Do you see any hope for me with this issue? I will do anything it takes to fix my problems...wish I could fix his too.
