I am from good ol Iowa "Yuk"! I like the state but hate the weather. Especially the winters. This one has sure put me to the test. If I move somewhere I want it to be better weather with people that are friendly. We'll see I guess. Is the humidity bad there in the summers?
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
TOH here kind of feeling down and stuck again. Hold on! I am okay, just coming here to get some of it out and off my mind.
H visit here Sunday was so good I'm still smiling. Then I came home early Monday and he was here again. He still was in a good mood and was a good visit. But short. Haven't heard from him since. D said he was here yesterday doing chores. Never came to the house, even to say hi.?...I am okay, just missing him and some of the old feelings creeping in.
Still praying this will all work out. Praying that somehow someway he'll find his way home. Wish we had a crystal ball...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Remember ZERO expectations and do not wonder why he did not come in and say "hi."
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I agree w/MidwesternGirl's response. Expectations at zero at all times.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
TOH it looks like you might be getting this. This takes years of practice if you have an h that is stubborn. Don't worry why he didn't say hi. It has nothing to do with you.
I used to wonder why my h didn't respond to a call or an e-mail. I just had to let it go. At the time it was difficult now, he mostly responds.
Keep working your life this way TOH. It will get better for you and you WILL be ok with or without your h.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
H not saying hi to D17 the other day was just another of those times where I'm left standing there shaking my head. I don't understand but HIS problem not mine.
Talked to MIL yesterday. It's been awhile and she was tickled pink. I went to her place last night and cut her dogs hair and nails. She is moving and wants me to help. I will but not when/if H is involved. I didn't tell her that but I will. She is so discusted with her son. She mentioned him once or twice. But we didn't talk about him. Just easier for both of us. Had a very good evening. I missed her and it was good to catch up. I am excited for her move. She has lived in a apartment for over 5 years and now she is moving into a house. She will be able to sit outside now and that is great.
My MIL is a great lady. She loves her children very much. Each one of them has their troubles but to everyone else they can do no wrong. She has surprised me in this. She is very angry at what H is doing/done. She supports and understands why I will not file. She tells me to hang in there but says she doesn't know how I do it. Then when he does something bad she gets angry at him and has told me more than once to get a lawyer and take him for all I can get. To go find someone else and be happy. She tells me she loves me everytime I talk to her. And yet she sees H regularly. She makes a stab at him on occasion but for the most part she stays out of it. What a great woman!
Just venting...take care all, TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Don't take it so hard when your H does not say hello or talk to the kids.
Mine very rarely says hello to any of us when he comes into the house and his moods are always very pissy. Usually the bad mood subsides after awhile but lately, I am more out of sight out of mind because I just don't care anymore.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I am glad that you have a great relationship with MIL...that's nice. Mine turned into Linda Blair from the Exorcist...
You never really knew what they are thinking or what they will say and do it's the hard part that you can't figure them out. They are truly on their own. I see that you haven't r talked with him and are not pursuring good job...
You are doing very well...come to here to discuss issues and vent here. I wasn't on the boards for one and half years and now I am back.. This bb is helping me now...learning more about DBing myself and it truly does help... Doing great keep it up. ITSY
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
Met my H on the way home from town tonight. I waved and he nodded. Wow! Does the hurt get any less? I am doing okay until I see or here from him. Then the love for him, the hurt, the missing him, the loneliness, the why's, the ...'s all come flooding back like a waterfall.
I have been almost telling myself to stop loving this man. He doesn't deserve it anymore. File for a D before it's ALL gone. Move on with my life and find happiness again.
Then I see him and I am back to square one. And honestly I don't love him any less and want to be beside him even more. I feel like such a fool.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
