V. thanks for stopping by. Always nice to hear from ya.
Went over to the house last night as planned. X had most of the stuff from the office packed up for me before I got there. Thanked her for that. She was fairly upbeat, I on other had was very quiet. Not wanting to show any emotion at all. Just get in, and get the stuff out. That is pretty much how it happened. When I was done loading up she gave me my mail. Asked if I wanted to file taxes with her,(hell yes), so I said I did. We claim the kennel and the farm. For me not to be able to do that I would be paying the IRS for years. So one happy thing she did for me. She also asked if I wanted to go see the new lambs. Sure, why not. (I didn't want to see them, I knew that it would make me want to be back there again) So we went out and saw them. Always love the lil lambs, have to be the cuttest. We said our goodbyes, no hug from me. By the look she gave me that was a shock. She asked if I wanted to come by Thurs to get some more. Guess I will. So I felt like crap on the way home. Was upset with myself for not being more upbeat with X. Upset by the whole thing, how much I wanted this M to work and this seems to be th pie in the face time. So I txt X, first time in four weeks, told her "sorry if I seemed a bit queit, don't think I am mad or ungreatful for your help, I am just trying to do this with as little emotion as possible, thanks for your help". She sent me a txt back telling me "No problem :)" Ugh. I still want this woman. I hope this "leaving" helps in coming together, giving her her space etc. Thinking about this i ended up bawling my eyes out all the way home. I thought I was over the crying part. Thought I have moved into the more idepenant mode. So I guess it didn't go too bad, but at the same time I don't think it went as well as it could have. Do I dare ask her if she wants to do dinner when I go over ther Thurs ot let her ask me when or if she ever becomes ready? B
