SC, it is so hard to be around them and feel the distance. That is why I am so torn about what to do. It kills me to see him here at home and have him treat me like an aquaintance after 30 years together.
We are kind to each other, thoughtful. But it is so awkward, so cold. He never, ever, in all these months, gave me any indication that he still loves me. That he still wants me.
When he is gone for days at a time, he does not call. I just dont think I could move forward with him here. I wish I could. Really.
If the marriage is over, and I think it is for now, then maybe it is best if he leaves. For me. And maybe he needs to feel the loss of us for him to be able to return. Right now, he does his thing and then comes home and hangs with his son. He really does have the best of both worlds.
And I try to live my life, but I know that I keep looking for some sign from him for hope. It breaks my heart everyday.
