With this rule, we work on becoming less vague about what we want, and start to break things down into some specific actions. Things that we can SEE happening, and actual behaviors that can occur to let us chart our progress.
Lostlove got a great start with this in her first post, so we'll use some of her stuff for an example. (Hope you don't mind, LL!) Her broad goal could be stated as….
"Defined time that is set aside each week for us."
From there, she did a good job of being more specific, and action-oriented, with….
1) H will initiate outings more.
2) He will find more time to spend with the family.
3) He will find more time to spend separate time for us.
These are still a bit vague, though, but she goes on to describe more specific actions of…
1) He will surprise me with a sitter and say, "hey my mom will watch the kids tonight let's go see what's playing at the drive-in.
2) We will play a game of cards or darts one night a week.
3) Saturday night we either go out or rent a movie or hang in the basement playing darts.
This is a great action-oriented list! It will be easy to see when these goals are being accomplished.
Now, take some time to see what your goals would look like if you broke them down similar to this!!
JJ
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