I tried to be vauge but I think the next time she asks me where I was I will just say kindly, that you wouldn't like it if I asked you that question I would like the same consideration. Why should she get an answer from me when she comes and goes whenever she pleases. I am hoping this will keep her guessing. I think also it's about getting my control back.
Like everyone has pointed out this has been my problem and when she asks, I don't want to lie.... so by setting the boundry not to ask me I don't have to lie or make up witty responses I just have to keep busy.
Jeff, FWIW, I think it would be better (and less likely to trigger a negative reaction) to have in reserve a couple of non-defensive but uninformative responses for when she asks these kinds of things. (I'm not going to lie to my H, or anyone else, either.) My two favorites are "Oh, that's classified," and "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." (My H used to work for the military.) Both of these MUST be said with a big, friendly smile to make sure it's clear that these are just your little jokes. I'm not saying you shouldn't have boundaries...just that it will very likely be to your advantage to present them as pleasantly as possible.
There's my 25 cents' worth (inflation, you know!).
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Both of these MUST be said with a big, friendly smile to make sure it's clear that these are just your little jokes. I'm not saying you shouldn't have boundaries...just that it will very likely be to your advantage to present them as pleasantly as possible.