out of respect

[K4D]

Alex, you seem angry and/or hurt. I think what most people here are looking for is support and understanding. They are hurt because of their situation. I know I am. We all know we played a part in it at some level. Nobody is trying to avoid getting out of what they have done.

But this is a great site for support and people at all different stages of the D. I know I have felt more comforted here than at any point since my wife wanted the D. Its hard and painful to walk through as you know. I actually feel like this web sight is some what helping me to detach some. Not alot, but some. I don't know why that is either. Maybe its because I finally feel like I have people that can 100% relate and offer support.

This is extremely hard to go through when you feel like you are alone in it. I couldn't be more thankful for this site. Its also better to vent here than to the one you are trying to reconcile with. So alot of times, people are just venting. They need an outlet and this is a good one. I know I have used it for that. Does it mean I blame my W for what she is doing. No. But sometimes I need to just be able to vent my frusturations to people who understand and can relate and won't judge me on it. If I do this to my W, WWIII breaks out. I don't want that.

So this is healthy here. People don't need to be attacked here. They get plenty of that from their walk away H/W and any friends and family that are also against them as is the case with me. I don't feel like I have anyone else to talk to because my W's friends and family are for the most part taking her side.

I know I made mistakes and I am the primary reason why I am in this position. I don't need to be told that. I know that. I do need good supportive advice and understanding as does everyone here. You have to be careful how you give that though. Alot of people here are hurt and they don't need to feel more hurt. They need a hand reached out to them that can help comfort them when they are feeling down and gloomy.

You have many good points that most of us won't disagree with. You just have to deliver it a little more carefully. There are alot of feelings that are very shaken and broken right now. Kind of the don't kick them while they are down thing. Its the last thing they need.

I know your heart is in the right place and you are feeling all the hurt and anger everyone else is. Vent it. Thats why we are here.

Just don't come across as hell fire and brimstone to people. We will all get through this somehow with time. But we need each other to be there for us. If we don't have each other, I don't know how many people have someone to turn to. I know I don't have many people to turn to about my feelings going through all of this.

Just some thoughts. We are here for you,

Kevin