Just showed my Mom the db picture of you. She and my Dad are doing and feeling much better. They have more energy, more focus, more smiles, and a better, more hopeful outlook. I feel we are pulling through together--a good team!
As for me, I'm trying desperately not to sabotage my thoughts and actions. I would hate to undermine all the good that has been achieved. I have been struggling with bad thoughts that have been fed to me by my co-workers and the good thoughts that I feel are real and true.
A came into work yesterday, Monday. That is a good thing because it is 9 days after I saw him last. I was surprised to see him because he said that he was going to come in last week, but I told him that I was going to be on vacation.
He was with a nine year old boy who he was babysitting. What bothers me is that A introduced him as his 'son'. I know it isn't. I just didn't think that was very funny. Strange. Was that meant to tell me something, was it meant to hurt me, or is it A's sense of humor through shock. Not funny! 'Who is this, A?' He laughed. 'Well, this is my son for today. I'm babysitting.' He said that he was babysitting because he had a day off from school. I received no other info.
I asked the boy, 'so, how do you two know each other?' He responded, 'A is my mother's friend. I see him whenever we go to the car store.' That was an opportunity for me to ask some more questions, but I didn't.
The boy didn't mention a father (as in A is my parents' friend). He just mentioned his Mom. That has been killing me inside. I get myself settled. Then, I'm confused. After A left, I felt like I was hit by a wet sponge. I didn't know what to make of it. It didn't hurt, but it was an odd sensation. Weird.
My friends at work saw A. Asked who the boy was and then made their swooping angry comments. I got more upset. They told me that A was a jerk for bringing his girlfriend's son with him to work and introduced him as his own. But that isn't what he said.
I don't think it is A's girlfriend. A makes a lot of friends. He could have met her as a client or she works at the same place.
1.) A came into work to buy something that he could have bought anywhere. Why? 2.) He kissed me smack on the lips...twice...saying hello and good-bye. Plus, he threw me some air kisses when he left. A doesn't do that to anyone. Why? 3.) The boy said 'friend'. He could have said A is my Mom's girlfriend? Kids are usually straight forward like that. 4.) We kind of flirted with each other at one brief point. 5.) I really don't think that A would be that mean. a.) K told me that it could be a new R for him. b.) Still, I don't think A would be that mean. I really don't.
My Mom, my roommate, and my friend agree with me. They all know A. They think I shouldn't worry.
My feeling is that maybe this is a good time to make my goal clear to A. I'm not sure. One good thing about it is I feel confident to tell him whatever I want.
This has scared me to think that maybe I should push the peddle to the metal. That is how I feel. It is not what I know to do.
Ouch ... I miss him.
Big Hug, L, SD is too far away. I wish we could have cookies together. Talk soon.
