in a galaxy far, far away...

[Silent Chrleader]

Your friendship has come to mean a lot to me too, BM!

Believe me, I do feel your pain. I can give great advice, but then I struggle constantly to take my own advice!

Today, H and I and S17 were supposed to have C sessions, which fell through because C had the flu. We all chatted for a bit in the parking lot, and it just hit me so hard! H looked so handsome, but he was so distant from me and I just wanted so bad to walk up to him and bury my face in his chest and hold on for dear life!

Well, I didn't do that, of course, but after S17 and I got in the car and headed home, I had a really tough time holding back the tears and S noticed them, and asked what was wrong. I said "nothing" which he obviously knew was not the truth. He asked what H said to make me mad, and I said again "nothing really". I don't want to put S in the middle and I know he doesn't like seeing me upset and gets frustrated with me because he thinks I should just be able to let it go. So, I finally just told him that sometimes it's just hard for me to be around his Dad and feel the distance there. It hurts.

I am doing better now, but still pretty depressed. I hate that it all can still just hit me sometimes......

As for the alt. I'm assuming you know what that is (FB). You just sign up. It's free. You don't have to put pictures or anything. I haven't yet. Then use the "Find Friends" tool and search "SChrldr". I'm the one with the last name that looks like it's missing a few vowels! Then you just send me friend request and that's it! [I hope this doesn't get me in trouble with the moderators...... ]