Goal Setting....that's something I'm having difficulty with. My goals are like a moving target. I'm sure I fit into the "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it everytime." catagory.
But what the heck, I'll try it:
"Think about what you want, not what's missing"
I definitely want MORE Time with my H. I know that with every "date" I walk away a little more content with how we're reconnecting. And I know for sure after careful review of my M and the issues that built my resentment towards my H over the years was his failure to see my need for quality time with him. So I definitely need MORE time, enjoying his company.
What are the times in your marriage that you'd like to "re-create"? The times when we were more affectionate, when we looked into each other's eyes and SAW the love without having to say the words. I'd like to re-create that sense of comfort in our safety to love each other again.
What are some new things that you'd like to see happen? I'd like to "see" (actually HEAR) my H express his remorse, his finally truly understanding the trauma he caused and his commitment to do anything and everything necessary to make me feel safe that he'll never choose that road again.
When my spouse stops doing ___________, what will s/he be doing When my spouse stops doing his avoidance routine of refusing to deal with or truly look into the the real issues that HE felt led him down that dark road to betrayal , he will be initiating R talks, telling me how he feels (with WORDS), telling me what his needs are (with WORDS) and letting me know when his needs aren't being met. So that he can't turn them around on me and again justify his destructive behavior. T2
