Aww, Kev, you're making me cry. I wish he saw it your way, but he doesn't and he probably won't. I'll keep my fingers crossed, but it's his choice now. Sometimes it seems like the mountainous pile of cr@p is so huge to get through that there is just no way. It has just been such a huge tag team of doing things to each other that were never intended to hurt the other, that I don't know. I refused to go back to marriage counseling with him three years ago when he went to stop drinking and even told him I wouldn't help him. Because I was tired and drained.
This part is interesting. I never wanted him to have to quit drinking either. I wanted him to find a medium, a balance, so that he could be happy and that I could get what I need. I never wanted my needs to supercede what made him happy. And I hate that it has to be that way, but I see now that it does.
Hugs, Bub. It will get better. It won't always be like this.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
