I have had a major problem tonight. Son (23)was arrested by police for not doing his community service. In court tomorrow. That I can cope with now. What I did though, I need help with.
I phoned W to tell her. She didn't answer straight away. She called back after 15 minutes. I was upset and annoyed and barked at her down the phone. Told her what had happened and she asked if I wanted her to go with me to the court tomorrow. I said I would let her know. Then I hung up.
I called back after 5 mins as I was upset, it was late and I had no-one else to talk to. I asked her if she was going to bed, (meaning could I go over and talk to her but never actually said that) She said that her BFF and daughter were there. I took this as the fact that they mattered more than me (which they probably do) and hung up.
Got all worked up and went over to her house. Explained that I was upset and wanted to talk. BFF said "don't you think that W is upset as well?" W said "its always the same, you expect me to support you, don't you ever think of me?"
MAJOR mistake on my behalf. I sat there and took the telling off for 10 mins and then apologised. I was told by BFF (the one that has been complicit in W having EA and leaving)that I ought to consider W feelings and she was going through a lot. I said "her choice!" MISTAKE 2.
We talked for about another hour, I apologised again and thanked W and BFF for talk and then left.
I am picking W up in the morning to go to court.
I need to know the best way to rectify my "needy" behaviour from tonight.
I know now that I should have told W not to worry and that I would let her know what happens, but I was SO angry that she wanted nothing to do with it tonight and then toxic BFF laid into me as well. I did well not to tell them both what I thought of the sitch with EA and everything.
