I agree, that they might not be doing it to 'get to you'. However, I firmly believe they realize you don't approve and 1) don't care or 2) find it a bit funny that you will 'throw a fit'.
Hi Trusting, FWIW, I don't think they were doing it to get you mad. JA and ow are into that skeleton and crossbone,pirate stuff with the kids also. They act like they are pirates. Nothing wrong with that when you are kids, but when you are adults acting like you are a pirate is just warp.
I think they just don't think. They are just so stuck in their teenage minds. The ow are just as immature as they are. I know it hurts and it bothers me too when they do things with our kids that we don't approve of. Just be thankful that the tattoos are washable and can come off.
I wish I knew what they say and think about us.....
I wish I knew what ex says to OW about me..........
But..
In the end it really does not matter
Their opinions should not have any effect on us
My cousin's wife was in MLC and left him for another man. Before she left, she spent like crazy, got a boob job, face lift, new furniture, etc.... put it all on a credit card. The OM was 15 years older than her and filthy rich. They got married 6 months after their divorces were final. The OM left his wife and child. This was his 5th marriage.
Anyway 3 years later she wrote my cousin telling him how awful she had been to him and what a mistake she made. She told him she did not mean any of the horrible things she had said. The main reason she told people she left my cousin was because "he was bad in bed". She told my cousin that she thinks about what she did everyday. She hates what she did to her 2 children. By that time my cousin was dating a wonderful woman and eventually married her.
Today I found out from my aunt that my cousin's ex wife and the OM have lost everything that they owned. They both are real estate brokers and have no income coming in because of the economy. She had to sell her million dollar home and her Jaquar. They now rent a town house that they barely can afford. Their marriage is falling apart because it was based on wealth and deceit. She was in the hospital for a week for an emergency hysterectomy. My cousin sent her flowers.. as a nice gesture. He is happily married and would never leave his new wife.
My reason for writing this. You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. There are consequences for ML'ers.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
It would be lovely if one day, H would be able to say those kind of words and regrets. It truly would.
But I have learnt in this, that I should not wait for it or expect it, as it may never happen.
Who knows what God's plan is. As H and I agreed on today...it's not the end goal that is important but the road we take to reach it. Sometimes we may not understand the path we take or the choices we make, but hopefully one day we will and one day it may become apparent why.
It was a lovely story Trusting. Thank you.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Thank you for posting this today I really needed it....I have so many more good days than a year ago.....many more...but there are days when it still seems unbearable have myself a pity party....but the pity party does not last long anymore.
It is good to hear about reaping what you sow....and not that I want any bbad to happen to my husband but it feels good to see that they really do wake up and come to their senses.that they regret all the damage they have done.
Again, thank you so much for this today, I really really needed it.Funny how God does work in mysterious ways...and your posting was just that to me... a mysterious way...
God bless you
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
Reaping what you sow is - for me - a bitter sweet pill. Yes part of me wants to see H and OW fall apart and experience the hurt and betrayal we have all felt BUT I still love him and I never want any harm to come to him and I never want to see him suffer. I wouldn't wish what I (all all of you) have experienced in the last 3 years on my worst enemy let alone on my husband/STBXH. Does that make me crazy?
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Can I get back to you on that one-lol. I have to say I think we are all a bit crazy, well if we wern't before we survived this cr** we are now. It's a normal crazy with possibly a warped SOH thrown in.
I don't buy that. They might not say they are sorry. They might not outwardly show any signs of remorse, but I believe they then eat them selves up with guilt. This guilt then eventually comes out as sickness either emotionally or physically. "Perfectly happy" does not really exist for the Ml'er.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11