Don't look back

[cz946]

My update.

I am in day 4 since I initiated contact.
XW sent me a txt Sunday night. "I take it nothing was done today for Nieces bday?' I didn't see it until an hour later and responded.
Not today, she is having bday party next sunday.

Then XW called me Monday norning to tell me that her and d spent a night up north with a group of friends(OM),
and wanted to tell me instead of hearing from d. She says she was planing to drive up & back same day but we got 8 inches of snow.

I calmly responded, OK no big deal. You don't have to tell me everytime you do something. I realize you are going to live your life.
XW, "I just wanted to tell you so you don't get hurt." My response, I am working on me. I didn't like the old me.
I am working on me and trying to be the best dad I can. I said this was one of the best weekends(hung out with friends) i have had in a while.
XW, I thought you must be doing better, I haven't heard from you all weekend.

A little while later XW calls to ask if I have some missing pieces to one of d toys. Me, "yes its here."
Me, "yes its at the house."
XW, "where are you at? Maybe I can meet you."
Me, I am home, not going anywhere until I go bowling. I'll drop it off on my way.


A bit later, I call XW ask if they are going to use the toy tonight.
XW "yes, that is the plan."
Me, Ok cause if your not I will just wait and give it to you tomorrow when you drop d off.
Xw " d really want to use it."
Me, Ok I'll drop it off on my way.
Before I would drop everything at the chance to stop over and see XW in person, this part of me disengaging.


About 20 mins later, cell phone rings. Call from XW. Its d asking if I would like to eat dinner with her and XW.
I so wanted to say no, just to prove a point, but couldn't tell d no.
So we ate and had a nice conversation.

At one point, she made a comment about how desperate poeple are! refering to OM's that are chasing after her.
I Smiled inside, and thought to myself, not me. I will never show you desperation again.

I believe she can see a new confidence in me. Of course I had to squeeze in the comment a my friends wife said when she seen me this weekend.
About how good and big(muscular) I look. Working out 5 days a week payoff!

That night while bowling she sent me a TXT. Asking if I had went to the auto show. I waited about an hour and responded. No not yet!!!!
First txt in awhile that wasn't something about d.


She dropped d off early this morning. D has day off school, so I took vacation day to spend it with her. Said the usually good morning, have a great day.
Made sure I answered the door with no shirt on!!


Then about lunch time, I was on cell talking to a buddy, and XW called in. I switched over, cause I actually had a question for her.
She called to tell me she has to get my bday present from d to me. Tomorrow is my bday. I said I am actually on the other line with buddy(my BestFriend) and his
baby will be born tomorrow(enduced) on my bday. So I called him to tell him to make sure he gets a gift for is babies momma. He was totally unaware of this.
I was too when my d was born, and XW still holds it against me. Unfortunately I didn't have someone like me to tell me in advance.

So I ask XW if she thought my present suggestion "bracelet was ok. She agreed, and I said oK well I'll call you back when I get off the phone with John.
About 30 mins later I returned her call but just got VM. So I left message. Haven't heard from her yet.



Keep the faith!!
Thanks
CZ
me: 34
XW: 29
D: 5
T: 13
M:9
Dday: Sep 18, 08
joint legal and physical custody of child